


Diamonds Are Forever

by SeunnieLove



Category: GOT7
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate universe - Mafia, Angst, Dominant Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mafia AU, Mafia Choi Youngjae, Mafia Im Jaebeom, Mafia Mark Tuan, Mafia Park Jinyoung, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Soft Jackson Wang, This is unbeta-ed from chapter VIII to current so bear with it lol, angsssssst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22399507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeunnieLove/pseuds/SeunnieLove
Summary: **IRREGULAR UPDATES (PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE LOL)“Listen, brat. This is really important, okay? So if you want to live, which I really am starting to doubt, listen AND do what he’ll say,” he emphasized.He was confused, alright. So excuse him for being annoyed as fuck when the blonde just walked away afterwards. Much more when a camera was suddenly shoved up in front of his face.Just when he was about to kick the guy, he felt the gag on his mouth loosen up. Then from a small speaker under the camera’s screen, he heard a cold, deep voice speak up.“Talk”Jackson was so fucking done with it. Letting out a small laugh, he huffed, then sneered at the camera.“What the hell do you want me to say? Thank you for shoving a rubber dick up my ass? Well, thank you, motherfu—“He was immediately cut out.**LATEST CHAPTER IS 13 (01/14/2021)**UPDATE (11/05/2020): I’m editing this sht out cuz wow, my writing sucks. And I finally got FREE TIME YAY!**UPDATE (11/30/2020): ALL OLD CHAPTERS HAD BEEN FINALLY EDITED. For those who have read this before, you have to read it again (sorry haha).
Relationships: Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Comments: 309
Kudos: 1113
Collections: JinSon (Top Park Jinyoung x Bot Jackson Wang)





	1. PROLOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/06/2020
> 
> Hello everyone so yeah I'm back after so looooong LMAO. This is an updated version (so yep you're lucky if you're only reading this now). Thanks a lot for stopping and yeah, tell me your thoughts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 11/06/2020
> 
> Hello everyone so yeah I'm back after so looooong LMAO. This is an updated version (so yep you're lucky if you're only reading this now). Thanks a lot for stopping and yeah, tell me your thoughts!

**PROLOGUE**

Jackson woke up from the sound of hushed whispers and crashing glass. He groaned, cursing at whoever dared to disturb what little sleep he got. Having three jobs in a day can surely be a lot. But having three jobs, and having to take care of two teenage boys at the same time is almost suicidal.

It was only natural, for anyone living under the same condition as them to take up at least two jobs a day just to get by. Of course it was tiring as fuck, to the point where you could barely feel any strength left by the end of the week. But that’s just how life goes there. With growing kids, and growing debts, he had no other choice but to give up school and take up another job.

Turning around, he tried to focus more on whatever’s happening outside, rather than the sharp pain on his back. Applying as a mover was apparently a bad idea after all. But it was the only job he was qualified for. And it was only a few blocks away from their house, so it wasn’t really that bad. 

If only he could just stop pissing off his new boss, then he wouldn’t have had to suffer this much. 

He shrugged. 

He could never understand how the woman thinks anyway.

“So, are you gonna pay us or not?”

Jackson didn’t recognize the voice. But knowing his father, it must be one of the many drug buddies he’s been dealing with lately. Must be another debt to be paid off.

Great. Maybe he should start looking for a fourth job then.

He scoffed as he cloaked down the curling hatred forming on his gut. He had long told himself to give up on it, for it was already a lost cause. Sighing, he closed his eyes and forced his body to sleep, knowing all too well that if he doesn’t let it rest for as much as it can, he would end up getting dead sick by the end of the week.

But it only took a while until he’s back up again. The paper-thin walls of their house making it literally impossible for anyone to doze off. Jackson stared blankly at the ceiling. It’s not as if he could just go out and tell them to fuck off. He ain’t that stupid. So they just have to endure it until they decide to leave by themselves.

“We’ve been here for what, almost an hour, and you still couldn’t think of a way to pay us? Don’t fucking make me call boss, idiot. Are you gonna pay us or not,” came from the same guy.

Ahhh here we go again. Back to the same lines. They hear this same shit every fucking week, yet for some reason, his father never learns.

If it’s any other neighborhood, he’s sure somebody would’ve already called the cops. And they might even get a ‘raise your fucking hands, you’re under arrest for starving a child’ thing afterwards.

Jackson scoffed. His neighbors would probably just stare at them like they’re some sort of cockroaches crawling in the night.

“Stop! No, no, you know he’s going to kill me this time!” 

Jackson rolled his eyes. It was obviously an empty threat, but his father was either too stupid or too high to even notice it in the first place. 

Honestly, Jackson couldn’t remember clearly how and when it started. Maybe it was forgotten, he wasn’t sure. All he remembers was waking up one night, with his mother gone, and his father dragging him on a nearby alleway to ‘get a job done’. He was probably already taking drugs by then, but he was too young to remember it. Without really understanding anything, he just did what he’s told to do—deliver a package to some guy and come back afterwards. 

Seems simple.

Until a bunch of cops blocked him on his way back.

He can still remember how much it scared him back then, when they started taking him away. Well, honestly, who wouldn’t be scared by that? Much more when the questions started barging in.

So instead of answering, he just cried.

Pathetic, right?

Guess he should’ve just told them the truth back then.

What’s even more pathetic was how he got picked up the same night by his father himself. What a fucking joke. He was’t sure how he did it without getting apprehended, or at least questioned for letting his kid out in the middle of the night, but it is how he remembers it. Maybe pulled up some tricks? He wouldn’t know. He never used him again afterwards.

Surprisingly, everything stops there. It’s weird, alright, but for some reason, he couldn’t remember much after that, even after trying many times. He tried asking his father once about it, back when he was still too naive to understand how much the man hates him. It only ended up with him being beaten up into a pulp. 

It was an eye opening to him, making him realize just how cruel the world is to the likes of them.

Despite that, it still frightens him sometimes, not being able to remember some pieces of his past. Most times, he’d find himself wondering what happened back then that made him forget things like that.

Maybe a head injury?

He felt up his head and pouts. He’ll never know.

He was brought back from his musings when he heard his father laugh. Raising his head, he wondered what the man’s up to now. Maybe he had finally lost his mind? After all, no one in their right mind would provoke these dumbasses at this point in time.

“How can I forget,” he clicked his tongue. 

“I can give you a nice deal. A really nice deal, in fact,” he added, his voice sounding so delighted, Jackson could barely stop himself from cringing too hard. 

It was so far from how it was just moments ago.

He was also confused at first, not sure what the old man was getting at. Until he heard light footsteps coming through their door.

Blood drained from his face as he realized what his father was planning to do. Gripping his sheets tight, he tried to think of the many possibilities that could happen next. Only to freak out when the thought of losing BamBam and Yugyeom came to his mind. Partly, he wanted to scream at his father for dragging them into his shit. But at the same time, he also wanted to scream at himself for not trying enough.

He laughed when he felt panic rising up. Just the right time to be like this when his brothers needed him the most. How fucking pathetic.

Balling his hands into fists, he forced himself to calm down. If his father sees him like this, it would only urge him to hurt them more. He only hopes that he wasn’t planning on taking either Yugyeom or BamBam. He wouldn’t know what he’ll do if he does that.

He felt more panic rise up from the thought. Because honestly, what could he do if that happens? It’s not like he could save them if his father decides to sell them off. Fight? As if he’d ever get a chance to win over those muscle heads. He laughed as he felt his throat closing up, furiously rubbing off the tears that’re threatening to drop down from his eyes. When that happens, all he’ll be able to do is watch, as they get taken away from him.

A bitter smile ghosted his lips when he finally heard the soft click of his lock. It’s almost funny how he felt so much relief just by hearing the sound of it. Ridiculously funny, for someone who would only be sold off in a while.

From above his knees, he felt his fingernails digging painfully on his palm. Is he scared? Fuck shit he is.

He let out a shaky laugh as he watched his father walk in.

But it’s fine if it’s like this. One is enough to endure the pain of three.

The man paused for a moment, taking in his son’s appearance. He knew he was awake, and that he heard everything from the very start. He was a clever boy after all. But he never expected him to adopt such a rigid stance. 

Jackson looked so vulnerable yet so dangerous at the same time, that it almost stopped him from going further inside.

Almost.

Until he caught sight of his trembling hands.

Smirking, he closed the door, and looked back at him.

He’s still a child after all.

“Don’t look at me like that” 

Jackson didn’t even bat an eye.

“Don’t touch them,” he warned.

“Don’t drag them into this, or you’ll lose me,” he added, before standing up and walking over to where his closet is.

Fishing out a crumpled note from his pocket, Jackson put it on a small pouch—an instruction on how to get access to his bank. It has all his personal details—contacts, passwords, pins, everything they needed to access the account. ‘Course it can only be opened by BamBam and Yugyeom, he made sure of that. If he was going to be whored up anyway, he might as well leave them something until they’re legal enough to get a job.

He was about to turn around when he felt the man’s presence on his back. He tensed up and immediately tried moving away, sensing how he was trying to corner him up. But even before he could move an inch, the man was already pressing him face-first on the ground, with one arm twisted behind his back. 

He yelped at the sudden pain. 

“I just told you not to look at me like that,” he leered, twisting his arm a little harder this time.

Jackson felt tears prickling his eyes as he bit back a sob.

Then just when he thought he couldn’t hate him any further, he felt him rub something behind his back. 

Shocked from disgust, he gained all his strength, and shoved him away from him as hard as he can.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” he spat.

“Don’t you fucking touch them, or I swear to God, I’ll kill you”

It only made him laugh even more.

Stepping closer, he grabbed Jackson’s jaw and made him look up at him in the eyes. He likes him like this, just like how much he likes his wife. 

“You’re the only one I ever wanted to touch.”


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys, I'm done with chapter II.
> 
> For those of you who are wondering what happened with the other chapters, I'm still editing them out so they're currently unavailable right now. Thank you!
> 
> My dumb self deleted 2 chapters without thinking. So I've lost some of your comments/feedbacks. :(

**CHAPTER II**

Jackson woke up from the excruciating pain at the back of his head. Of course, his old man had to resort to violence just so he wouldn’t end up messing everything up. At least he’s wise enough to sell him off while he’s still out. After all, a disobedient whore with an attitude would only bring out trouble in the end. So unless you’re pretty enough to compensate that, then you’re only good as a piece of trash. Would probably get a few fucks or so, until they toss you out, chop off your organs, and send you off to wherever fucked-up country they’d sell you to.

He tried moving his arms, but the ropes were so tight, he could barely move a finger around. His eyes were also blindfolded, so he couldn’t really make up where he’s at, or where he’s tied up to. But at least he’s still in the country, he’s fairly sure of that. That’s good enough for now.

He’ll just have to figure out which group has him.

Seoul’s underground consists of a wide array of criminal groups. Within it were families, gangs, groups, and pacts, which activities range from as simple as burglary and assault to as complex as organized crimes, drugs, prostitution, and assassinations. All of which falling under the jurisdiction of three main families—the Spades, the Knives, and the Black Rose.

The Spades, known for its activities on drugs and prostitution, is currently under the rule of Im Jaebeom, KNPA’s (Korea’s National Police Agency) chief of police.

It was hell of a work to get any intel about these three families. The smaller gangs were easy, you just have to bribe them with good shit and you get what you want. But the families in which they belong to were the problem.

Jackson was surprised at first, at the amount of layers covering up the traces of the roots. The security was so heavy, to the point where any class passing the second-tier generation wouldn’t be able to know who the people directly involved with the activities are. It all made everything much harder to work on. When it was finally revealed to him who were controlling all the schemes, that’s when he understood where all of it is coming from.

He couldn’t help but to laugh back then, thinking of how greed and power had made some people turn into such—monsters. Yet it also didn’t surprise him at the same time. It is just how it works in any other society. When people get their hands on a certain amount of power, they tend to abuse it to some extent.

How can you be a figure of justice and also be a figure of injustice at the same time?

Jackson sighed as he contemplated the chances of him being under the lair of Spades. If he is, then he’d most probably be used as a dealer, or be thrown into prostitution. 

If not, then he’ll be under the Knives.

The Knives is under the rule of the Tuans. Originating from Taiwan, the family migrated to the United States at around late 70s and there formed the Tuan Corps. Masking its operations within the grounds of finance and marketing, it eventually reached its pinnacle by the end of the decade. However, with the increasing restrictions on trade and tariffs imposed by the government, the family decided to relocate its base to South Korea, in where it gathered more strength and influence. By the end of 20th century, the Knives were already dominating every major drug den in the country, and with another decade of success, were also able to do the same to the rest of the continent.

Now if he was not sold off to either of those two, then that’s where everything becomes even more problematic. Because by then, he’d have to figure out which foreign faction has him.

Black Rose...is not even an option. Not only it is pure BS; it is also utterly impossible. His father is not that privileged to gain even an ounce of recognition from the group.

Black Rose…is like the godfather of all shit—except that they were the cooler ones.

They are regarded as the underground’s police, the only authority that has jurisdiction over the Knives and the Spades, and everything that’s under them. Some call them the ‘government underdogs’ for a reason. Consisting mainly of mercenaries and assassins, Black Rose is the only organization that the government trusts to do all of its dirty works. Intel works, assassinations, database leaks, everything falls under the authority Black Rose. That, with the condition of total anonymity and freedom.

Over the years, Black Rose had repeatedly proven its control over its own operations. From finances, to supervision, everything is done under their command. Any job, no matter what class it belongs to, will only be executed as long as it was deemed justified. If not, then it will be transferred back to where it came from.

In a sense, it almost sounds like something that would come out right from the movies. Like a villain secretly doing good deeds for the sake of humanity. Sounds damn pathetic, but that’s exactly what he felt when he had seen some records of their past operations. 

And it makes him wonder sometimes—how they decide on what job to take, or what it feels like to be the one doing the job. No matter how fucked up their sense of justice is, it still made him curious to some extent.

That ain’t mean though that he’s any interested on joining the group. At all. After all, he learned long before not to trust whatever he’s told, regardless of how...interesting it is.

Just as he was about to stretch out his legs, he heard distant footsteps growing closer to where he’s at. He stilled himself, and tried calming down his breathing as he waited for the footsteps to stop. He was pretty confident that he was the only one there before they came in. If not, then whoever’s with him is hella good at pretending to be dead.   


They stood there for a while, about a minute or two, until he heard one of them speak up.

“Wake him up”

Jackson immediately tensed up. If he wasn’t blindfolded, he’s sure his eyes would be as big as saucers right now. But he willed himself not to show any sign. 

His dumb father must have lost his fucking mind.

Eventually, he felt one of them move closer to his side.

“No need. Can’t you see he’s awake? Don’t be a dumbass and call Kevin. I’ll stay here with him,” he heard another man say.

Gulping, he tried to control his shaking hands. If his suspicions were correct, then he’d utterly be in deep shit.

He flinched when someone pulled up his locks.

“Interesting. So you understand us, huh? No wonder Kevin likes you,” he heard the man say.

Then his blinds were taken off.

He glared at the man.

He couldn’t believe how stupid his father is.

Of all the things he could do, he really has to sell him off with a foreign gang.

The man smirked at him, actually surprised at the other’s response. It has been so long since they’ve seen someone as…feisty as this. 

It makes him wonder just how good he’d look spread out on his bed.

Lifting his hand, he tried touching Jackson’s face.

“I’ll fucking bite you, don’t even try,” he warned, in fluent English.

It only made him more—interested.

So without warning, he forcefully grabbed Jackson’s jaw and made him look up into his eyes.

He didn’t even blink once.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he groaned. No wonder their boss was so insistent on having him.

It was at that moment that the door bursted open, revealing two figures behind. One of which, Jackson recognized, was the guy who was with the other guy before.  
  
And the other was…bright.  
  
Bleach blonde hair, caramel skin, lithe figure, pretty eyes, he’s the exact definition of a… twink.

Okay, that was probably the shittiest description he had ever thought of in his life, but that was what came up to his mind the moment he saw him.

“Ahh you’re finally awake! Look at you, aren’t you gorgeous! Too bad you’re tied up right now, but don’t worry sweetheart, we’re gonna prepp you up so good, you’d end up thanking me later,” he winked.

Jackson just looked at him blankly. He’s actually amazed he can still breathe after all of that.  
  
Ignoring what he just said, he asked. After all, this is probably the only chance he will get before everything turns into a greater mess.

“Are you associated with Spades? or Knives? Which group are you in?”

Noticing the slight twitch on the blonde’s features, he knew they didn’t expect him to know this much.

“My my, you sure are smart, Jackson, right?” he smiled.  
  
“Very smart, for a rat’s kid. But since you asked so nicely, yes, we’re kinda associated with Spades, but not really,” he laughed.  
  
Jackson narrowed his eyes. Maybe the blonde had also dyed his brain cells when he did his hair.  
  
“You can call us partners, foreign partners. We’re based in Australia, but we sometimes travel outside. You know, to acquire pretty things,” he grinned, throwing him a knowing look.

Dropping down to his knee, he lifted one hand and caressed Jackson’s cheek. Jackson just shook it away. These people like to touch him for some reason, and he’s not falling for any of it.

“You know, we’ve been eyeing you up for a long time now,” he revealed.

“We’re just too lucky that your dad’s stupid enough to fall for our trap. He doesn’t even know how much of a jewel you are”

“He’s not my dad,” Jackson quickly spat, hatred filling up his eyes as the memory of the past night came running back.

Then he frowned when the words finally sinked in.

Almost immediately, fear crawled up to his mind. Just how long were they stalking him before all of this happened?

“Not your dad? Is he your daddy then,” the blonde smirked.

Jackson felt anger rising from his gut. He knows for a fact that he was only trying to provoke him, yet it still didn’t stop him from lashing out.

“Never would’ve thought that he’d forget about you. Daddy’s ignoring you these days, huh? Maybe he no longer wants you,” he mocked.

That earned him a nice, hard slap.

He just snorted, too amused to even bother apologizing. Hit a spot, eh? Don’t care.

“Prep him up. He better be ready in two days. Maybe we can find him a nice dirty old fuck who would drug him all night. See if you could still open that pretty mouth,” he sneered before storming out.

Jackson sighed, not really liking the way he behaved just now. He really needs to shut up sometimes, before he gets himself thrown into an even deeper shit.

Two days, huh. Hope he could come up with a plan by then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys, I'm done with chapter II.
> 
> For those of you who are wondering what happened with the other chapters, I'm still editing them out so they're currently unavailable right now. Thank you!
> 
> My dumb self deleted 2 chapters without thinking. So I've lost some of your comments/feedbacks. :(


	3. Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for the delay. I just had to do some work (haha cuz you know, I still have to work, yup). Aaaaand so yeah, I made some major changes in this chapter, so I recommend reading this again if you have already read this before. 
> 
> Plus, I was thinking of merging this chapter with the next chapter, but I haven't edited it out yet, so I decided to upload this first and maintain the separation between the two. I just want to ask if you'd like longer chapters or this is enough? Let me know.
> 
> What more, ahh have you already heard of the comeback? If not then you should check out their profile and be excited about it.
> 
> I still couldn't get over Seunnie's rosegold hair. For fucks sake, how does he look so gorgeous every time I see him? And don't even get me started with the others. I mean.... *sighs*
> 
> Do you feel me? 
> 
> That is all, tell me your thoughts!

**CHAPTER III**

Youngjae chuckled as he watched Jinyoung from the monitor of his screen. Even from afar, he can still sense the irritation coming from the man.

He wasn’t supposed to be there that early. But with everything that happened earlier, they had to.

The crowd is larger than what they expected. All that thanks to whoever spread the jizz of them attending the night.

It was supposed to stay classified until their arrival that night, to avoid unsolicited attention and chances of dissent. But for some reason, someone had sent off a message that Black Rose will be attending the night’s event, thus resulting into—this _mess_.

Youngjae sighed, utterly pissed off at how the plan turned out. This just confirms their suspicion of an inside job, someone confiding with external allies for reasons they still haven’t figured out.

Although equally important, that’s a matter to be discussed for another time. Right now, they had to focus on more important matters, and make sure that a certain someone is behaving well enough not to cause trouble to anyone.

He walked out of the room and nodded at the two men monitoring the area, not forgetting to remind them again to call him if anything unusual happens on the ground.

* * *

Inside the hall, Jaebeom can be seen staggering around. He had luckily found his way back, after getting lost three times.

Dropping down on a vacant seat, he looked at Jinyoung’s blank face and sulked. 

“Why didn’t you tell me he’s such a boring guy? He doesn’t even want a drink”

He hadn’t seen Youngjae for ages, and yet all he got was a ‘hi, idiot hyung’ and a grunt. 

I mean, what the hell? He’s been hanging with Jinyoung too much.

And Jinyoung? He narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him.

Well, he’s still as unapproachable as ever.

“Yo, you still there?” he tried, after getting no response.

He might as well talk to the wall if he’s going to be treated like this.

“Why can’t you just leave him alone? Give a guy some rest,” he finally replied, throwing him an unimpressed look.

He rolled his eyes, and laid back on the couch.

Black Rose being there was unexpected. But Jinyoung being there himself was a total surprise.

And he can’t help but be weary about it. Everyone is.

“Why are you even here, we all know you don’t go to these events,” he asked, finally voicing out what was bothering him all night.

He closed his eyes and waited for the other to respond. That is, if he’d ever respond to it in the first place. Mark had already asked him earlier about it, which he only answered with a shrug.

How was he supposed to know what was on his mind?

Black Rose’s presence there could only mean three things—they’re either doing a job, spying on someone they’re planning to recruit, or they’re suspecting a violation on the triad agreement.

Honestly, the first two were fine. If those were the cases, then they can do whatever they want. But the third one was the problem, for he was sure that if it really was the case, Jinyoung would definitely not hold back on subjecting them to harsh consequences.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, right,” he asked.

He was aware of what was happening lately. Unprecedented murders and assassinations, clan wars, dissensions, fake intels, everything was a mess. So really, everyone was walking on thin ice, careful not to pose themselves as a threat. Especially now that Black Rose was finally taking over the investigations.

“If you did, do you think I would still be talking to you right now,” Jinyoung asked in return.

He looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. Probably not.

“We’re looking for someone,” he revealed.  
  
“We were told that he will be attending tonight’s event. That’s why we’re here. So stop bitching about it, you look like a disgusting dog,” he grumbled, obviously too pissed to bother with his drunk ass.

Well if you hadn’t showed up _yourself_ , then that would’ve been more acceptable, Jaebeom thought.

He gave up after a while. He knows that it was barely the truth—probably not even reaching the tip of it. But it’s fine, he’ll let it go for now.

That ain’t mean though that he was already dropping it. Maybe he could ask/piss Youngjae about it later on, see if he could catch something.

“If you had only explained it to me earlier, then I wouldn’t have had to worry so much about it,” he snarked, pouring another shot of whiskey to drown down his nerves.

He still couldn’t believe that they had actually showed up.

It was only a rumor at first, something that he dismissed right away, knowing how much Jinyoung hates any sort of interaction with anyone. That until someone came up and informed him that they had actually showed up.

Jaebeom almost shitted his pants.

“It’s A-class alright, you don’t talk when you’re not supposed to,” he retorted, not even throwing him a glance.

Shaking his head, he finally let silence drift in.  
  
“Why don’t you go find Mark, before he kills somebody,” he suggested after a while.

Jaebeom felt his jaw clench, remembering how he had ended up so drunk in the first place.

Resting his head on the back of the couch, he murmured.

“He will not kill him, he likes him”

He never got to see the knowing smirk on Jinyoung’s face after that.

They stayed like that for a while. Just Jinyoung being a total ass, and him nursing his throbbing head.

He should’ve stopped drinking after his fifth glass.

“How much longer until it starts?”

He groggily opened his eyes and checked his watch. Jinyoung was so boring that he was about to pass out.

“About 15-20 minutes?”

The man nodded then pressed a tiny button on his watch. It was a signal for Youngjae to come back.

“Go find Mark, so we can finally get out of this shit,” he ordered afterwards, like he’s some kind of royalty or something.

Jaebeom rolled his eyes. Well...he’s kind of like that anyway.

He could probably blame it to the booze, or to Jinyoung’s shitty personality. But when he finally realized what he’s doing, he was already bowing down to him, with his right fist placed above his chest, right where the heart is, and his left arm on his back, forming an S formation. If someone would look close enough, a rose could be seen hanging around, just above where the Spades’ mark is.  
  
It was the Triad’s form of salute. Something that the two family heads perform at will to show submission, respect, and unending loyalty to the Black Rose.

And it was only _supposed_ to be performed in _secrecy_ —when _no other members_ are around.

Jaebeom groaned as silent gasps settled in.

“Stop showing off and just get it done”

Straightening up his back, he pretended not to notice the cold edge of the command. He nodded sheepishly, and hurriedly walked off the hall.

When he was finally far enough, he hissed.

Just how much booze did he take up that night?

* * *

Inside the quarters, Jackson can be seen pacing around. Being locked for two days with nothing to occupy him other than his mind had finally freaked him out. He was not the type to panic at just anything, but with everything that’s going on, he couldn’t stop himself not to.

Maybe he’s actually starting to go crazy for real. But no, because he had learned long before to trust his gut regardless of everything else.

He glared at the piece of clothe that was thrown messily on his bed. It was exactly at that moment, when they told him to wear the thin piece of—whatever that is—that he had finally lost his cool.

It’s not that he doesn’t wanna wear it…okay fuck it, he _doesn’t_ want to wear it for real.

It ain’t just wearable enough.

Whoever made it must’ve been too crazy to even think that it is.

I mean, for fucks sake, they’re just literally a bunch of...leather straps.

Holy fu—

Okay, stop.

Jackson willed himself to calm down, before he throws another fit.

He jumped when he heard the door open. Turning around, he saw that it was just the same guy. That one he met two days ago.

“What do you want now,” he asked, not even trying to hide the irritation from his voice. They warned him against it the moment he was transferred there, but he couldn’t find himself giving a fuck.

“Why don’t you stop being such a pussy and just do what you’re told to do,” the man snapped, annoyed at the kid’s response. They have been trying to deal with him as nice as they can, because they weren’t supposed to damage any good until their disposal. But this one is challenging every ounce of patience they have.

Jackson couldn’t care less. He knows that they wouldn’t hurt him. After all, what’s good with a damaged merchandise? They wouldn’t be able to sell him that way.

“The auction will start in an hour. If you don’t want to be forced into that shit, you’d better start working on it now,” he warned, holding on to the last thread of patience he has for the kid.

What’s left unnoticed though was the glimpse of hope that crossed Jackson’s face when he noticed a tiny gap of opening at the door, implying that it was either forgotten to be closed, or was mistakenly closed by whoever entered there before. Calming himself, he gathered all the courage he has and pretended to comply.

“I-I don’t know how to wear it,” he stuttered.

Cursing, he hoped that it wasn’t suspicious enough to be taken as a bait.

The man just glared at him. Then he turned around to leave, probably to get someone to help him with the thing.

But Jackson had beaten him into it.

“Help me. Help me wear it. I don’t want them touching me”

He clenched his fists, ignoring the shiver of disgust that ran down his spine. Even without looking, he can still feel himself being eyed up.

Walking to the edge of his bed, he gathered everything that they gave him. Then he turned around and gestured for the man to follow behind.

“Why not just do it here, it’s the same shit. We’re the only ones here anyway,” he heard him ask. By that time, he knows he had already caught up with his lies.

“I have to shave,” Jackson simply replied, thanking every God that he was able to respond normally this time.

“I won’t shave then,” he prompted after getting no reply.

Just when he was about to turn back, the man grabbed him by his arm and dragged him to where the bathroom is.

“Just go do your shit, and do it fast,” he snapped.

Jackson bit his lip. His heart was beating so fast, he could almost feel a heart attack coming up. He has to do it right and fast or he might just end up getting his ass beaten up literally this time. 

He held his breath as he waited for the right chance.

Just as he was about to enter the bathroom door, he gathered all his strength and pulled the door close as hard as he can, making the man lose his grip over his arm. Then when he was finally released, he kicked him inside, and ran towards the other door as fast as he can.

He was so close to it, almost touching the knob. Until he felt someone grab his hair and shove him hard to the ground. Then as if it still wasn’t enough, the man grabbed his arm next and twisted it so hard behind his back, he almost felt his joints tearing up.

He cried out from pain.  
  
“You fucking shit. You thought I didn’t know what you’re up to, huh? Let’s see who’s clever now,” the man hissed as he pressed his face harder to the ground.

“Let go,” Jackson groaned.

For some reason, his body had began shaking terribly bad. He wasn’t sure what exactly happened, but at some during the exchange, there was an—emotion that terrified him to no end. So terrified that he can almost feel bile coming up.

He flinched when he felt the man press himself harder behind his back.

“Do you know how fucking hot you look right now,” he leered as he rubbed his fingers on his cheek.

If he was terrified before, he was downright petrified now. Biting back a sob, he shut his eyes tight. He can feel his head throbbing so painfully hard, and yet for some reason, he couldn’t convince himself that it was only due to the impact.

“Ahh, lucky are those privileged enough to have you,” he heard him say.

“I wish I have that amount of money so I can fuck you all night”

It was at that moment that the door had finally barged, forcing the man to let him go at once.

Jackson couldn’t care less who the other person is, or why he was there in the first place. He was just glad that he was no longer being touched.

He controlled his breathing and wiped away the tears from his eyes.

“What were you doing,” he heard the guy ask.

“We were told not to touch him, idiot, and here you are not only touching him but also hurting him at the same time. Are you dumb? Do you know how much this will cost us,” he hissed, obviously mad at whatever happened behind his back.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he grunted after getting no response.

It was only then that Jackson could feel air coming back to his lungs. He wasn’t even aware that he was holding it in to begin with.

Yet despite that, he could still feel a gnawing fear lurking behind, terrifying him to no end. And he couldn’t comprehend any of it. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from.

Clenching his fists, he forced himself to calm down.

Maybe it was just a random thought, or something. But at that time, he was pretty sure he felt a scrap of memory pass by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry for the delay. I just had to do some work (haha cuz you know, I still have to work, yup). Aaaaand so yeah, I made some major changes in this chapter, so I recommend reading this again if you have already read this before. 
> 
> Plus, I was thinking of merging this chapter with the next chapter, but I haven't edited it out yet, so I decided to upload this first and maintain the separation between the two. I just want to ask if you'd like longer chapters or this is enough? Let me know.
> 
> What more, ahh have you already heard of the comeback? If not then you should check out their profile and be excited about it.
> 
> I still couldn't get over Seunnie's rosegold hair. For fucks sake, how does he look so gorgeous every time I see him? And don't even get me started with the others. I mean.... *sighs*
> 
> Do you feel me? 
> 
> That is all, tell me your thoughts!


	4. CHAPTER IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so sorry for the very late update guys. So what took so long? 
> 
> I've already finished editing this about a week ago. But upon reading it again, I realized that there were too many plot holes I didn't realize were there before. I mean, for real, I get so confused by my own writing sometimes. So I had to redo/rewrite it again. There are MANY changes here.
> 
> And sooooo, I was supposed to upload this two days ago, but you know, there's comeback so priorities first HAHAHA!
> 
> BTW the next chapter was already finished, I just have to edit some minor details and it's good to go. Probably gonna upload it later or tomorrow so hang tight!! Please continue supporting GOT7 and their comeback. Don't forget to stream, and stay healthy!! 
> 
> TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! I ALWAYS READ YOUR COMMENTS. YOU KNOW, WHEN I NEED SOME INSPIRATION HAHAHA

**CHAPTER IV**

The underground is never a safe place for anyone, regardless of whether you’re part of it or not. It is a den of mischief and distrust, of treachery and unending deception. People who have long been living under its walls have learned not to associate oneself with those who would bring them trouble, with some even choosing to work independently on their own, or with a couple of others who they trust the most.

It is the most basic rule of survival. Everyone sees each other as an ally and also as a threat at the same time.

Thus, it is only natural for people to stick with their own kind at times like this. Not only will this secure them from external threats, it will also dismiss them from being seen as the threat itself.

So it was a total surprise to everyone how a first rank officer had found his way on an S-rank’s side.

It was amusing at first, to watch someone with such a rank stumble his way towards Jinyoung’s side. Some had even placed bets on whether he’d make it or not. It had happened to Mark before, so they weren’t actually expecting much from it—just a piece of distraction to entertain them before the event starts.

Until it had gone down to the dumps, far from what they expected it to be. 

Rather than being thrown out, Jinyoung had actually let the kid come up to his side.

First was confusion, second was dread. It was the moment they knew they fucked up. Because after all, a breach of protocol is still a breach of protocol, no matter how simple it is. And they know that no one else will be held responsible for it other than themselves when the time comes.

But it doesn’t have to end there. For that only applies if it was proven that they have taken part in it.

So naturally, everyone started acting up—making excuses, pretending to be drunk, just anything to make them appear innocent enough. Others had even tried leaving the moment it went down. But it was all futile in the end. Roses were already blocking all ways out before they could even think about escaping.

That’s why it was all confusing when Jaebeom had arrived. He was only supposed to tell Jinyoung that he couldn’t find Mark, and that he should just ask Youngjae about it, when he noticed a couple of Roses hanging outside.

He ignored it at first, thinking that they might just be monitoring the area. You know, the usual boring stuff they do.

That until he walked in, and found a thin figure lurking around Jinyoung’s side.

Instinctively, he pulled out his gun and aimed at the guy, senses on high alert for the possibility of an attack.

However, even before he could act up on it, another Rose had showed up and blocked his sight.

A clear order to back down.

He hesitated for a moment, but complied nevertheless. He knows better than to defy a command.

With gun still hanging dangerously by his side, he went and grabbed the closest person within his reach.

“You tell me what’s going on right now or I’ll shoot you”

The air was so thick, Jaebeom thinks he can almost cut it with a knife. How come he didn’t notice it before he left earlier?

“B-boss, I don’t know what happened, I was not here whe—“

“You have five seconds,” he warned. He was already panicking inside, and this man was not making it any better than it is.

“Mr. Park let him come to his side,” he blurted out.

Jaebeom looked at him incredulously.

“Are you fucking with me? You think I’d believe that shit?” he snapped, still unbelievably confused at what was going on.

“Boss please calm down,” the man nervously gulped.

“I’m telling you the truth, you can ask him if you want,” he suggested, pointing at the man who relayed the command.

Jaebeom cursed. If that was really the case, then they’re all on the same boat.

He pursed his lips as he thought of the many possible reasons why Jinyoung would do that. But aside from being drunk, he was also not that bright, alright, so you can’t blame him for not realizing it soon enough.

Still utterly confused, he made the man narrate what happened all over again, ignoring the almost inaudible snort he heard from one Rose standing behind his back.

He felt his eye twitch. Really, these people. He can almost see Youngjae rolling his eyes at him for being so dumb.

By the third time, the man had already fried up his brains, no longer responding to any question he’s asked. He couldn’t blame him. Even he himself couldn’t figure out what Jinyoung was trying to do at that point.

He groaned in frustration. How come Jinyoung thinks they’d be able to figure this out by themselves?

Until it had finally sinked in. By then, he could barely stop himself from feeling disappointed about it.

“Aren’t you all responsible for guarding S-ranks?”

No response.

Jaebeom just let out a small laugh.

“He’s not even a Spade, boss. If he we do that, he’d end up being our responsibility”

It only made him even angrier. If this is what his members are thinking all along, then he had really failed them as their leader.

Jinyoung had even given them so many chances to redeem themselves. Yet even after all that—everyone was still afraid of taking responsibility. So even if they know that it wasn’t right, they still choose to let it go as it is. Even if it’s at the expense of their own comrade.

Frustration filled up his senses as he tried to think of a way to fix the situation. This is why Jinyoung hated working with them in the first place.

He never wanted to admit it, but it was the truth.

Sighing, he hoped that Mark hasn’t come back yet. He has to stop him before he gets the wrong idea.

However, it wasn’t even a minute later when he saw a sharp knife passing through his side, and towards the direction where Jinyoung was seated at. Cursing, he dislodged his gun and aimed at the same direction, altering the knife’s path from where it was supposed to strike.

Then he quickly turned around to find where the man is. If he was lucky enough, he could still talk sense to his head. Tell him to calm down before Jinyoung gets mad for real.

But it was already too late. By the time he was able to make a move, Mark was already charging at the kid, forcefully pinning him down to ground.

Jaebeom groaned in frustration. Great. Now he has to deal with another problem.

“Who the fuck is this, Jinyoung? What are you even thinking,” Mark hissed, utterly confused at what’s happening.

Trailing behind him was Jaebeom, who was now wearing a dark look on his face.

Pursing his lips, he forcibly pulled the other man up, silently begging him to shut up. But as expected, Mark had chosen the right time to be dumb. So instead of calming down, he glared coldly at the kid on the ground.

“What were you doing with an S-rank officer? Have no one taught you the protocols for every clan,” he haughtily asked, after noticing the Knives’ mark under his collar.

God. Of course, the kid had also had to be a Knife.

And even rank one at that.

Every family gives each of its members a rank, one which defines their rights and privileges as a member of the group. Each member starts with rank zero, the lowest among the five ranks. This is given to new members, as well as to existing ones depending on the situation. Members carrying this rank are regarded as being under probation, subject to various checks and assessments before they move up to a higher rank. It is a basic protocol given to every family—to train and asses every member before taking them in. Given at least two Rank 1 personnels for their training and assessment, each of them are expected to maintain proper discipline and behavior until their official acceptance to the clan.

It is only when they move up to Rank 1 that they are given basic rights and privileges as a member of a family. These include access to the family’s bases and resources, the privilege to take up jobs and get paid for it, and the right to participate on inter-family affairs.

On the whole, the concept is simple. The higher your rank is, the more privileges you get. But this principle only applies to the last three ranks.

The first two follows a different one.

If the last three are the system’s workforce, the first two are its administrators.

Rank A, which mostly consists of an elite circle of leaders, intel heads, investors, and shareholders, forms the Triad’s board of directors, responsible for internal management affairs. They are the ones directly in control of low-level finances, of recruitment and rank promotion/demotion, and of monitoring every family and their member’s compliance with the Triad agreement. At the same time, they are also responsible on managing family activities and affairs, to generally make sure that no family is being taken advantage of by another.

Then lastly, there is Rank S, which forms the highest class among all five ranks. This is the only rank exclusively given to every family head and their predecessors, authorized to make decisions on all matters involving the group, including change on succession terms, transfer of assets, and land/capital expansion. They are the only figures possessing the highest level of authority capable of demoting or abolishing any group or member that fails to comply with its own rules.

Now, of all five ranks, S-rank and A-rank officers are regarded as the most trusted ones. With the level of skills and authority they possess, it is only natural and expected for them to be treated with full trust and respect.

But of those two, only S-ranks are privileged enough to be given utmost protection.

So in order to ensure that, the board had come up with a rule that no rank other than those possessing A and S are to approach any S-rank officer at any given time unless given permission to.

This was what Mark has been referring to earlier, which in reality, only covers a small part of what the real problem is.

Had it been the case, he’s sure Jinyoung wouldn’t even let the kid near him. But Mark hasn’t figured that out yet.

“How have you been,” Jinyoung spoke.

Mark just looked at him incredulously. It only made him even more confused than ever before.

“What the hell is going on,” he asked again, chuckling lightly as he finally let frustration crawl up to his face.

He knows that there must be something wrong here, he can sense it from the way Jaebeom was acting behind his back. He just couldn’t figure out what it is.

And it’s not even helping that Jinyoung was acting so nonchalant about it, as if he wasn’t the one who started it to begin with.

It pisses him off to no end.

“Stop fucking around Jiny—“

“If you think you can stay in the industry with men like this, you’re wasting your time,” he finally spoke, voice dripping cold as he looked at both of them sternly.

Jaebeom turned away. He has to. Because despite knowing that he’s right, it still hurts his damn pride to some extent. After all, it wasn’t only directed at Knives.

He couldn’t understand it before—the importance of trust and bond among your men.

Growing up on the wicked workings of the underground, he had always regarded everyone as a threat, regardless of who they are. It’s a natural instinct to everyone.

So he thought that it was utterly bullshit to waste time creating bonds and forming relationships with anyone. He even thought that it was impossible to start with.

Until there came a time when it had bitten them in the ass.

During the time when everything was crumbling down, with everyone betraying each other, men killing their own men, stronger clans taking over weaker ones, and the government taking over their activities, only one was able to survive.

That was Black Rose.

Honestly, it was not that bad when it first started. Dissensions here and there, rumors of annihilation, people didn’t care. Because they think that they’d survive it on their own, even without the system backing them up. It was how people think back then. Trust no one but yourself and that’s good enough.

So when Black Rose warned them against it, they just shrugged.  
  
It was their deepest downfall.

When the time finally came, with the government taking over every base and resources they have, everyone fell down.

Fell down fast and hard.

It was only then that they realized the importance of keeping the system up. Because in the end, no one can solely rely on their own. When the time comes, it will all depend on who will stay, and on how deep your foundation is.

Mark knows this as well. After all, they were among the first clans to claim dissent during that time. And he knows that Jinyoung is right—they couldn’t repeat the same mistake all over again. But still, it didn’t stop him from feeling upset about it.

Always leave it to Jinyoung to rub them on their sorest spot.

“So you come here for once, and you do this kind of shit,” he mocked.

“Mark,” Jaebeom warned.

“Shut up, Jaebeom,” he snapped, as he watched Jinyoung turn his back from them.

Jinyoung shouldn’t be doing this at times like this.

“Do you even know what’s happening lately? And you come here and let a possible threat near you. What were you even thinking? Do you think we can save you if this kid tries to kill you? Stop being so fucking reckless Jinyoung,” he bristled.

Jinyoung halted on his tracks, but he didn’t look back at them. It was during times like this that Mark wonders how he thinks.

Jinyoung just stood there for a while, saying nothing. Then gradually, he cocked his head to the side and looked at them tiredly.

“Just who are we supposed to be protecting right now”

Slowly—it dawned on to them.

It almost felt like they’ve gone back into the past. With Jinyoung’s back turned from them, as he watches the life drain from his mother’s eyes.

_Just who are the kings in this battle? Who are the pawns? When everything turns into worse, and you find yourself at the end of the rope, who are you going to die for?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so sorry for the very late update guys. So what took so long? 
> 
> I've already finished editing this about a week ago. But upon reading it again, I realized that there were too many plot holes I didn't realize were there before. I mean, for real, I get so confused by my own writing sometimes. So I had to redo/rewrite it again. There are MANY changes here.
> 
> And sooooo, I was supposed to upload this two days ago, but you know, there's comeback so priorities first HAHAHA!
> 
> BTW the next chapter was already finished, I just have to edit some minor details and it's good to go. Probably gonna upload it later or tomorrow so hang tight!! Please continue supporting GOT7 and their comeback. Don't forget to stream, and stay healthy!! 
> 
> TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! I ALWAYS READ YOUR COMMENTS. YOU KNOW, WHEN I NEED SOME INSPIRATION HAHAHA


	5. CHAPTER V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm almost done editing/rewriting the old chapters. Two more chapters to go and we can finally start with the new ones (yay!!!)
> 
> I hope you're all doing well and I'm very sorry for the late updates hahaha.
> 
> Again, all comments are welcome. I read them always, when I need inspiration. Take care!

**CHAPTER V**

Jackson tried to control the erratic beating of his heart. It has almost been an hour since they made him take up drugs, and his body’s not taking it too well.

He tried talking to them against it, telling them how his body reacts to drugs. But the dumb blonde ignored him.  
  
His mouth felt like sandpaper, and his mind felt like it was swimming on clouds. From the looks of it, it will not take long until he was again drowning on those…nightmares.

From the distance, he could hear chattering, coupled with the silent clacking of glass. Surely, it is a high-end event, hosting various personalities involved in the underground ring. He doesn’t know much about it, aside from it was being hosted by Spades and some other foreign group he doesn’t know the name of. That and the fact that he was being sold off as a diamond.

Whatever that means.

He flinched when he felt his makeshift cell move closer towards the noise. It halted midway, just enough for him to hear a slow classical music playing in the background.

The event had started long ago. Numerous boys and girls who had been there with him earlier that night had already been discharged to their corresponding owners. By the time they declared a break, only a handful of them had remained inside.

The bustling sounds of wails and struggles that had formerly filled the area had now been reduced to a few distraught sobs and cries. 

The fear can be overwhelming, Jackson knows that. Especially when you’re young and naive.

Most of these people have been abducted, or lured into a promise of eternal love.  
  
It surely is a wicked world. The strong one wins, the weaker one loses. 

Jackson tensed up as he heard soft clicking of heels from somewhere inside. Half an hour had already passed since the break, so sooner or later, it will be their turn.

He listened carefully at the sound. The person isn’t moving much. But she’s there, he’s sure of that. Maybe checking in on them? He wasn’t sure.

He adjusted the cuffs on his wrists, letting the blood circulate from his numbing hands. Aside from the blindfolds, they had also tied him up, so he couldn’t really do much other than to rely solely on what he hears.  
  
Soon enough, he heard the sound cease in front of him.

Bracing himself, he waited for whatever she was about to do. It was always unnerving not to know what will happen next. But with these kind of people, he surely ain’t expecting anything good happening soon.

It was only a small poke, something that wouldn’t be easily recognized just by anyone. But Jackson had seen enough of it to know what they were about to do.

With all force, he yanked his arms away from the chains, earning a deep gash at the back of his palm.

“Get away from me,” he warned, voice dropping low as he tried to curtail the brewing panic inside his chest.  
  
Why they have to drug him again, he doesn’t know. What he’s sure of though was that if he takes any more than what they had given him earlier, his body would not last long.

He wailed as he tried to get away as far as he can, kicking and lashing at the men who was trying to pin him down.

But it was all futile in the end—the confines of his cell and the chains locking up his body only hurting him more in the process.

His body shook in fear as he felt the drugs slowly filling in. As much as he doesn’t want any of it, the damage has already been done. And sooner or later, he’ll once again find himself drowning from the depths of his own fears.

* * *

It was all worth it in the end, the blonde thought, as he watched Jackson struggle his way out. He was indeed beautiful. Fair skin, dainty nose, soft full lips, and those eyes?

They’re stubbornly beautiful.

It has been so long since he had last encountered someone as…determined as this, despite being subjected into fear and pain. It makes him wonder how he was brought up as a kid.

Most of those who have been in the same position as him would’ve already crumbled by then, begging them for mercy. But Jackson had proven himself otherwise. Despite everything they’ve done, he’s still as stubborn as ever, refusing everything they tell him to do.

That was why they had to drug him again in the first place.

His character, is not really fitting in this kind of industry. Some would even find him annoying and unpleasant at most. But honestly, as long as you’re a good fuck, it wouldn’t matter.

Silently, he walked out of the room and went back to the stage.

It has been so long since they’ve last presented a _DIAMOND_. So long that all of them had to be re-briefed again and again just so they wouldn’t mess everything up when the time comes.

Each diamond was special—and absurdly _expensive_.

It was expected, since each of them had been exclusively chosen for only a selection of men.

Diamonds are GOLD’s most exquisite gems, sold without the limitation of a bid cap. Over the years from when it was first formed, GOLD had only presented a total of two diamonds. One from year 1963, and another from 2001. They are rare, exquisite beauties, that are exclusively sold only to those having either S or A ranks.

Under normal circumstances, there’s really no much difference between diamonds and all their other gems, except of course that they’re much more elegantly beautiful than the others.

But what really distinguishes them from the rest, is that they can be legally owned.

It can almost be treated as an asset to some extent, something that can be bought and sold at the same time.

Though he wasn’t sure how it was ‘legally’ possible to begin with, it was the catalyst that had marked GOLD’s success throughout the years.

Formed in the late 1950s, GOLD had started as a small pub, offering beauties and drugs for the night. It had done well for its first few years, easily dominating the entire prostitution ring for quite some time. Until its first fall during the early 70’s, when its head was apprehended for multiple counts of murder and human trafficking. Luckily, it had found its way back again at around early 80s, with the help of an unknown ally. From then on, it had quickly wormed its way back to the top, silently claiming stake over the entire industry.

Bright lights lit up the stage, silencing everyone from their own conversations.

“Greetings, everyone,” he smiled, as he blanched himself under the tense air.

The sudden call for recess had made everyone anxious and agitated. It was evident from the way clans had started gathering up, and on the way R-ranks had seemingly showed up out of nowhere.

To say the least, he was stunned.

If there is a rank with skills at par with S-rank officers, those are the R-ranks. They are composed of Black Rose’s finest assassins and mercenaries, who were given the sole responsibility of protecting all current S-ranks.

He let a smirk crawl up to his face. If they are here, then they must have seen them doing a round-up check along the vicinity earlier.

That’s better, he thought. At least now, they wouldn’t have to worry about the event being compromised.

“Some of you might be wondering about what happened earlier. There is nothing to worry about,” he assured.

“Everyone of you had to be the luckiest group I’ve seen in a while, for this is quite a special night. However, the next part of our event is only exclusively dedicated to our finest men. So in behalf of GOLD’s board of regents, we are requesting everyone under the ranks A and S to please vacate your seats, and follow our staff outside,” he bowed.

The silence only lasted for about a minute, until realization came in.

With a sense of pride and excitement, he straightened up his back and smiled. Even from afar, he could still feel the mix of confusion and excitement filling up the air.

“Welcome to GOLD’s third Glamour Night. We will be presenting you our third diamond in a while”

Then the lights had once again faded into black.

* * *

The halls are buzzling with crowd. Angry shouts and complaints gathered around as staffs began forcing people out.

As expected, the news had angered everyone on the lower ranks. It was completely normal. After all, it was a once in a lifetime event. So everyone wouldn’t want to lose the chance to see it by themselves.

“Why are you forcing us out,” one man angrily asked.

“It’s not like we can bid in it anyway, so where’s the need?”

On the upper chambers, everyone was also enthralled. Even Jaebeom, who have had part on hosting the event, still had to call his father to confirm what was going on. Mark had already texted him about it, asking if this was part of the event.

Well, he’s also confused as fuck, so why ask him?

Just as he was about to call Jinyoung, to ask if he has any idea of whatever’s happening then, a faint glow on the stage lit up.

Gradually, it focused on a lone figure chained on the ground.

It was surreal at first, but he’s sure he had almost felt his throat drying up.

So this is what they were talking about.

* * *

Jackson balled his hands into fists as he tried to control his beating heart. It was the drugs. He gets like this whenever he takes them. So by the time he was thrown out on the stage, he was no longer coherent enough to think straight.

His mind’s dizzy, and his skin felt like fire.

He was tied, blindfolded, and gagged. They tied him so tight that he could barely move his body around.

Taking a steady breath, he tried moving his thighs, but the move had only sent spikes of heat down his spine.

He bit back a moan that tried to escape past his lips. Of all the drugs they can use, of course they had to use ecstasy. So now he was left overly-sensitive to even the smallest touch.

If they think that it was enough to sate him, that’s bullshit. Sure, it will gnaw him hard in the head sooner or later, but it was not enough to tear him down.

Right at the back corner of the stage entered another man.

Clad on an expensive tailored-fit suit, embroidered with the finest gems and sequinses, Kevin walked over to the far right, where the podium has been placed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you are all doing fine tonight,” he started, eyes glittering with excitement as his gaze turn towards the upper chambers.

The grounds, which were formerly occupied by ranks 1, 2, and 3 had now been replaced by R-rank officers, with a few A-ranks roaming around. They hadn’t even dared asking them to move out, knowing that it will only do them no good. At worst, it might even raise more suspicion on their part. So they just let them be.

“Please settle down and move back to your designated chambers,” he instructed, then proceeded on explaining the guidelines.

He started with the bidding. As per standard, Diamonds are to be auctioned with a minimum bid of ten million dollars. Any amount lesser than that are to be regarded as null and invalid for the entirety of the event. All parties are given designated booths to place their bids, each equipped with high levels of security and privacy. Before the auction, everyone is required to place their own bid caps. This is the amount of money they are willing to spend for the entire event. If the party decides to spend more than what they are allotted for, they have to sign an agreement, allowing GOLD to access and hold their funds for as long as it’s necessary. All this to ensure that no one is bidding more than what they are capable of.

For the most part, the process is similar to the regular one. With only the exception of one thing. This time, rather than presenting the merchandise’s features en masse, GOLD had decided to do it in accordance to a specific target bid.

Lying on top of every bidder’s screen are three different stages, each holding various privileges that a bidder should get once a stage is unlocked.

All three were currently blank at the moment, with only the target bid showing below the mark.

The first one will be revealed once the auction starts.

Once a stage is activated, everyone else’s screen will be blocked, and the bidder will be given fifteen minutes to redeem whatever privilege they got. Only after this that other bidders shall be allowed back, to bid and get the next stage unlocked. 

Everyone was giddy with excitement, as they waited for everything to start. Even those who have not participated earlier had somewhat settled down on their seats to watch.

In just a matter of time, the first word was revealed.

The first stage—is _PLAY._

* * *

Mark had nearly punched his screen the moment the red warning sign blared at his face.

He was blocked.

“Fucking idiots,” he cursed. And it wasn’t even a minute yet.

Groaning in frustration, he squinted his eyes to check which group had gotten the first bid.

 _Oh_.

He laughed.

Of course, Jaebeom would be _interested_ in him, he mused.

Lying back on his chair, he waited for the fifteen minutes to pass. If Jaebeom was interested in him, then it really was a lost cost for everyone else.

Just around the corner, Jaebeom let out a soft sigh, as he stared carefully at the young man. He only got fifteen minutes to…play with him, so he has to make it worthwhile.

Pressing a small button below his screen, he spoke.

“Start”

A masked man dressed in all black appeared on the screen, rolling a low table from the back of the stage. In it were whips, cuffs, gags, leather straps, ropes, clips, and dildos and vibrators of varying kinds. With skilled hands, the man did what Jaebeom told him to do—replacing the leather straps with ropes, and adjusting his position on the bed so that he’s even more spread out than before.

Jaebeom sucked in a shaky breath. The young man was responding so nicely to the touch, body trembling as he was maneuvered into another position. After the ropes were done, he was asked to choose another set of toys from the selection. Mind still hazy from lust, he picked up a set of vibrators and nipple clamps.

He watched as the young man arch his back from the sensation.

He groaned. He was already fucked even before he knows it.

Fifteen minutes had passed in an instant. Dazed, he ignored the sound of bids coming in the exact moment it wore out. He’s banned from bidding for the next stage anyway, so it’s fine. It was part of the rules, to prevent anyone from hogging all privileges by themselves.

They waited for a while, until the bid reaches the target amount.

When the second word was finally revealed, he groaned.  


He should’ve just waited for it.

The second stage was— _BLINDFOLD._

* * *

Jackson was heaving so hard, his mind unable to focus on the blur of events that are happening at the same time. He was now covered in cold sweat, and cum.

He was utterly disgusted by the whole act. He had never felt so…exposed like this his whole life. But his body couldn’t stop reacting to it. So by the time they told him to cum, he could barely hold it in.

He closed his eyes, embarrassed at how his body had actually yearned for the touch.

He was at that state when he heard the blonde speak up.

“Now that all stages have been unlocked, we are now going to start with the actual purchase bids,” he started.

“May we remind everyone to stick to their allotted bid caps to avoid penalties and warnings. For those who would want to expand their bid caps, please press the green button below your screen. This will allow GOLD representatives access to your accounts,” he heard him explain.

This was followed by multiple cubicles signing off as they proceeded with the process.

It lasted for about 15 minutes, until the actual bids had started pouring in. He just waited there silently, head lowered to the ground, and face casted with a deep frown.

Gradually, the bids had began slowing down. By that time, it was already nearing a hundred million dollars.

He couldn’t care less at who he’ll end up with in the end. He just wanted everything to stop. He’s tired, and he can already feel the drugs acting up, making his mind hazy with illusions and…something else he couldn’t comprehend.

He was so out of it that he had even failed to notice Kevin walking over to his side. Raising his head, he was surprised at the dark look masking up his face.

“Listen, brat. This is really important, okay? So if you want to live, which I really am starting to doubt, listen AND do what he’ll say,” he emphasized.

He was confused, alright. So excuse him for being annoyed as fuck when the blonde just walked away afterwards. Much more when a camera was suddenly shoved up in front of his face.

Just when he was about to kick the guy, he felt the gag on his mouth loosen up. Then from a small speaker under its screen, he heard a cold, deep voice speak up.

“Talk”

Jackson was so fucking done with it. Letting out a small laugh, he huffed, then sneered at the camera.

“What the hell do you want me to say? Thank you for shoving a rubber dick up my ass? Well, thank you, motherfu—“

He was immediately cut out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm almost done editing/rewriting the old chapters. Two more chapters to go and we can finally start with the new ones (yay!!!)
> 
> I hope you're all doing well and I'm very sorry for the late updates hahaha.
> 
> Again, all comments are welcome. I read them always, when I need inspiration. Take care!


	6. CHAPTER VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGES:
> 
> Jackson - 21  
> Jinyoung - 25  
> Youngjae - 23  
> Mark - 27  
> Jaebeom -27  
> BamBam - 19  
> Yugyeom - 18
> 
> Alright, this chapter is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the its previous counterpart, so for those who doesn't want to read the updated versions for each chapter, you might want to start reading from this chapter.
> 
> Sorry if I uploaded this a little late haha you know because of the comeback.
> 
> Please keep supporting our boys! 
> 
> What more, aaaahh yeah btw this chapter is a little heavy, so trigger warnings for everyone!
> 
> Alright that's all, tell me your thoughts! I always read your comments ❤️

**CHAPTER VI**

Honestly, Youngjae was still fairly surprised.

The moment he laid eyes on Jackson, he knew immediately that he has to take him in. In a totally non-sexual way, of course.

Maybe it was just a gut feeling, or something akin to that, but there was something about him that pulls him closer. Like some sort of connection that binds them together. He just couldn’t figure it out.

So he wanted to convince Jinyoung on buying him. Which is totally fucking ridiculous by the way—he had only realized that now. Nevertheless, before he could even stop, he found himself already ringing him up, and blurting out shits like how they should just take him in instead of letting others do it and risk the chance of loosing a probable lead to their case.

It was totally bullshit.

In the end, he was only met with dead silence before Jinyoung hung up.

He shook his head. It frustrated him as well, what can he do?

It was therefore a surprise to him when Jinyoung had actually bought him by the last minute, which in turn angered Jaebeom to no end. It was only natural since he has the the highest bid before Jinyoung decided to come up and place the last card.

The Q card.

It was a personalized card that automatically lets the handler bid ten times higher each time a bid is placed. This is exclusively given to every S-rank officer as privilege for participating in the event. And once placed, no other bid can outstrip it, unless another Q card is used. So more or less, it was like a trump card, something that is used to guarantee a total win. However, since Jaebeom had only been in position for a few months, he still doesn’t have one placed under his name.

That was probably partly the reason why he’s so pissed about it. If you had only seen the dark look on his face when he realized what was going on...

Guess he should avoid the man for a while, before he gets himself skinned alive.

* * *

Jackson narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him, still in doubt that it was the same person he encountered earlier before. The man just smiled at him in return, which only puts him more on edge. He turned his head to the side, ignoring him.

This man is like…sunshine. You know those times when you just know what a person is like just by looking at them? That’s what he felt at that moment. And looking at him, it almost feels like he has to cleanse himself first of all his sins before he could be of any distance to him. It’s a deep contrast to what he expected him to be.

He frowned, but he didn’t talk, even when the man asked him several questions. He just couldn’t trust anyone that easily.

So when he suddenly moved towards him, for whatever reason, he couldn’t help but to jump away and try to slap him. But his hand was only midway in the air when someone grabbed it from behind, preventing him from doing so.

Turning around, he was met with a pair of cold eyes.

“You don’t just slap strangers like that”

His eyes widened from surprise, immediately recognizing the voice. He forcefully pulled his hand away from his hold and just stood there glaring at the floor.

So it was actually him.

“I’m going out first,” he heard him say after a while, his voice still as cold as ever.

“Make sure you close everything up before you leave”

He left after that, leaving only the two of them behind.

The ride back was fast, and it didn’t take long until they arrived. He wanted to see where they were going, just so he has an idea where he’d go if he ever gets the chance to escape. But as expected, they tied him up and covered his eyes. So in the end, he was again left dependent only on what he hears, and on the takes and turns they took throughout the ride.

He wasn’t sure where exactly they are, but he has some few guesses.

He halted his steps when another sharp pain passes through his head. He cursed and steadied himself from the dizziness. It started about an hour ago, just a while after the auction had ended.

It was his cue that the effects had already began.

He felt someone push him forward, taking his mind away from his thoughts. He glared at the two men behind his back. The other man, Youngjae, he learned, was no longer there. He wasn’t sure if he was with him during the ride back, but when they have taken off his blindfolds, he was no longer there.

He tried to calm down his nerves from everything that’s going on. Until now, he still wasn’t sure which group has him, or what they’ll do to him later on. Should he be worried? Of course. But his mind has been a total mess for quite some time now, and he couldn’t focus on everything all at once.

He was at this state when they stopped. He raised his head when he heard a loud clanking of chains, followed by a soft click of rusty metal hitting the ground. He paled when he finally realized where they are.

“No,” he spoke, voice a silent whisper as he turned around to face the two men holding his arms.

He should probably blame himself for not noticing it sooner.

“Get in,” he heard one of them bark, before he was forcefully shoved inside.

Jackson immediately got up and tried to stop the door from closing.

“Please don’t leave me here,” he tried again, voice shaky from fear.

He doesn’t like…this place.

It’s too dark, too cramped, and fucking too silent for his liking. It scared the shit out of him. And with his condition right now, him being there would only make everything worse.

His body shook as everything went deadly still. It wasn’t too long until the footsteps faded and he was left all alone in the dark. With eyes wide open, and breath coming faster and shallower at every passing minute, he waited. He covered his ears when the voices finally started coming in, mocking him, laughing at him. He felt tears quickly filing up his eyes, huddling himself in the corner as he finally lost the last thread of sanity he was desperately holding in his hands.

* * *

GOLD was surely wicked, Youngjae thought, as he made his way down to the basement. Leave it to them to make sure that all favors are still on their side even after the purchase has been done. He shook his head, still unbelievably perturbed that they’d make it so they wouldn’t have any responsibility after the merchandise has been sold.

Nodding his head at the two men guarding the entrance, he walked in, and instantly noticed the eerie silence that was filling up the room. He slowed down for a second, taking in the unusually tense atmosphere in the air.

When he finally arrived at the end of the tunnel, he frowned.

Slowly, he lifted one hand to the locks.

He almost stepped back at the shrill scream that followed afterwards.

It didn’t take long until he heard hurried footsteps coming over to his side, from the direction where he came from. He just glared at the two men guarding the site and ordered them to go back.

Youngjae turned his head back up front. Then with careful steps, switched on the lights.

He was both shocked and bothered at what he saw afterwards.

Jackson was…looking at him, with tear-filled eyes wide in fear.

He looked so vulnerable that Youngjae almost thought he had seen someone else in his place. Someone with the same eyes, same position, same fear. It was then that he realized what pushed him to save the kid.

They have the same eyes.

Youngjae tried to be as careful as possible when he approached him, halting when he saw him jump right away after he noticed him coming closer.

“No, I won’t touch you,” he assured, cautious not to pose himself as a threat.

“Get away,” Jackson mumbled, as another batch of tears fell down from his eyes.

Youngjae watched as his eyes became more and more unfocused by the minute. He cursed. He would not allow him to drift off like that in front of him. He knows just how bad it is every time it happens.

It was like being imprisoned by your own fears.

With steady steps, he approached him closer.

But the moment he touched him, Jackson lashed out.

Jackson pushed him so hard that he ended up on his back, with Jackson pushing him to the ground.

“Jackson, Jackson calm down, I’m not going to hurt you,” he spoke again, trying to push him carefully to the side without freaking him out.

However, it didn’t take long until he felt the weight gets lifted off of him.

Then a low, cold voice came up.

“What the fuck are you doing”

Youngjae abruptly looked up, and watched Jinyoung shove Jackson hard against the wall.

“No, no, no hyung stop,” he quickly got up and pushed Jinyoung away from Jackson.

“What the hell is your problem,” Jinyoung growled, eyes so dark that he even had to step back himself just so he wouldn’t piss off the man any further.

He was about to explain to him what was happening then when he heard a soft whimper behind his back.

He watched as Jinyoung’s eyes turned from cold to downright surprised.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, I won’t do it again,” Jackson choked.

Youngjae held his breath.

“It hurts, please stop”

“Get the fuck out of here,” he heard Jinyoung spoke. Not to Jackson, but to him.

“Hyung—“

“Didn’t you hear anything I just said?”

Youngjae glared.

“No, can’t you see how he is? And you just attacked him, asshole. How can I leave him alone with you,” he spat.

Jinyoung just looked at him with cold eyes.

“Don’t be fucking stupid, can’t you see yourself right now,” he spat back.

It was only then that Youngjae realized that he was also shaking. He pursed his lips and looked back at Jackson. He was already out if it by then, just seated on the ground curled up like a ball.

Then he looked back at Jinyoung.

“Don’t hurt h—“

“Don’t tell me what to do”

Youngjae sighed. He looked at Jackson for one last time, then walked away.

* * *

Jackson’s eyes were closed tight, his body shaking terribly bad as he rocked himself back and forth from his fetal position on the ground.

The sounds are more profound than usual, terrifying his very being to no end. He doesn’t want to open his eyes, because if he does…

_You damn brat, how many times do I have to tell you not to go out?!_

He heard the voices again. He almost screamed out of fright, when suddenly, he felt a hand touching his arm. He immediately tried to get away, hands flailing into different directions as he tried blocking whoever’s trying to hold him down. But it was only a matter of time until his wrists were both held tight against the wall, preventing him from moving them any further.

He choked back a sob as he tried opening his eyes this time. But all he saw was a blur of fog, and a pair of terrifying eyes laughing at him. It was the same eyes that haunted him over the years. He couldn’t recognize who it belongs to, but it was there, always there whenever he gets like this.

“No,” he pleaded.

“No more, please”

Then from his wrists, the hands moved up to his fingers.

“You’re holding my hands, I’m not going to hurt you”

He frowned for a moment, because he didn’t recognize the voice. Yet at the same time, he felt that it was also unusually familiar.

He jolted when he heard it again for the second time.

“Focus on your hands, can you feel it?”

He reluctantly nodded his head once.

Then everything drifted into silence.

They stayed like that for a while. Just him holding both arms tight, as he steadied the erratic beating of his heart. And gradually, Jackson found himself calming down.

Until he felt one hand slip out.

He let out a startled sound, as the panic rises up again.

“I’m here”

Then he felt a warm hand lay carefully on his cheek, caressing the tear stains that’s been left behind.

“You can come out now”

Jackson sighed deeply, then he closed his eyes, and let the darkness fall in all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGES:
> 
> Jackson - 21  
> Jinyoung - 25  
> Youngjae - 23  
> Mark - 27  
> Jaebeom -27  
> BamBam - 19  
> Yugyeom - 18
> 
> Alright, this chapter is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the its previous counterpart, so for those who doesn't want to read the updated versions for each chapter, you might want to start reading from this chapter.
> 
> Sorry if I uploaded this a little late haha you know because of the comeback.
> 
> Please keep supporting our boys! 
> 
> What more, aaaahh yeah btw this chapter is a little heavy, so trigger warnings for everyone!
> 
> Alright that's all, tell me your thoughts! I always read your comments ❤️


	7. CHAPTER VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with the old chapters!!! YAYYY!!!
> 
> Sorry if I uploaded this a little late haha you know because of the comeback.
> 
> Please keep supporting our boys! 
> 
> Alright that's all, tell me know your thoughts! I always read your comments ❤️

**CHAPTER VII**

Jackson looked around him for the third time, narrowing his eyes at the three passengers left on the bus—a couple of high schoolers, and an old lady at the front. He grumbled when he only got annoyed looks in return. They probably thought he had lost his mind.

It still baffles him why they would just let him out so easily as that. Though of course, he had pestered Youngjae about it to no end, asking him again and again if he could go see his brothers. But still, he never really expected anything in return. He just did it just to annoy them.

So he was actually surprised when Jinyoung called him up earlier that day and ordered him to go get some chip from some guy he has to meet the next day, grumbling about him being as useless as fuck staying there doing nothing. He rolled his eyes. That asshole. How can he do anything when he banned him from every corner of the house except for his room?

Still, the thought never left his mind, that there could be something more to it. Probably a trap? Who knows?

He leaned his head on the window and watched the bustling crowd outside. There are still a lot of things that confuses him. Like what happened during the first three days he was there, or why he wasn’t dead yet, or why he suddenly got a mark on his wrist. He still remembers how much it angered him when Youngjae tried talking to him about it. In the end, Jinyoung had to come up to force him on taking it.

Though what confuses him the most was not the mark itself, but its peculiarity. It’s different from what the rest of the members have. Not entirely different, but still. So he asked Youngjae why he got a different one. But the man only smiled at him and told him not to think too much about it.

He gently traced the freshly-made tattoo on his wrist. It’s…a rose wrapped in wings. Different from what the others have, which is one wrapped in chains. He’s not sure if it’s just a dream, or an illusion due to the drugs, but he kinda remembers someone touching it one night while he was sleeping. He shrugged. It doesn’t really matter.

Apparently, he has to be back within five days.

He scoffed.

If they think that he’d actually go back at all, they’re delirious.

He hopped off the bus ten blocks away from their house. He still couldn’t risk it. He knows this area, so if anyone is actually tailing him, he’d be able to lose him before he gets home.

It was not long until he’s back in their house. Sneaking from the back door, he immediately went past their father’s room, and walked directly to Yugyeom and BamBam’s.

He immediately checked for their cabinets, and looked for any sign of struggle.

Nothing.

He breathed a sigh of relief. Just what will he do if he loses them.

He waited for a while until the two arrived. It was a weekday that day so they were still at school by then. He could barely remember dozing off until he got startled by a tight hug, and a particularly high-pitched wailing that followed afterwards. He giggled when he finally saw them in his arms.

“Hyung, what happened to you? We were so worried when they took you out,” Yugyeom sobbed, eyes already swollen from too much crying.

Bambam was crying as well, but he was trying to act cool with it. You know, the usual BamBam thing.

“Yugyeom wanted to go out, but I forced him not to. Told him you wouldn’t be happy if we do that,” he confessed.

“But I could’ve saved you, hyung. BamBam is just scared,” Yugyeom countered, glaring at his brother beside him.

Jackson just rolled his eyes at that.

“Stupid. BamBam’s right. And you wouldn’t be able to save me anyway. Those guys are huge. I know you’re tall. But they have muscles,” he teased, laughing at the frown he got afterwards.

They stayed like that for a while. Yugyeom never left his side. He just sat there like an annoying tick, asking him countless questions on why he wouldn’t be able to handle them.

“So what will you do now, hyung? I’m sure dad doesn’t know you’re here,” BamBam suddenly asked.

Always the clever one among the three of them.

“Well, I’m thinking of finding a job. Save money, then get us all out of here”

Sounds easy, he thought. Yet here he is, still trying to figure out just how exactly he would do that.

The two were silent after that. Then they looked at each other.

“Don’t think about us, hyung. Think about yourself first. We can handle ourselves,” BamBam lied.

“Yeah, and we found a job right at—”

Yugyeom immediately shut his mouth right away, then looked at BamBam sheepishly.

“Idiot”

Jackson just pursed his lips at them.

“Didn’t I tell you to just focus on school first?”

BamBam sighed.

“Hyung, we would never survive if we just depend on what you’re giving us. And it’s not really taking too much of our time. It’s just a sideline. So don’t worry about it”

Jackson wanted to scold them more after that. But really, what can he do aside from that? Everything he just said was true. Even before, he knows that it would never be enough when the time comes. That was why he tried getting another job in the first place.

He sighed. He needs to take all three of them out of that house before his father finds out that he’s back. He knows that he wouldn’t be able to hide from him for too long. Sooner or later, he’d find it out, and who knows what he’ll do by then?

If he could just find something and save a little more, he could probably get a small apartment for them.

* * *

So that’s how he found himself desperately looking for a job the day after that. But it seems like luck was not on his side that day. He groaned after failing for the seventh time. Of course it would be hard for him to find a job. Not only because he’s under qualified, but also because everything was already taken up. It’s summer, so lots of students are taking up jobs to prepare for the next semester.

He was aimlessly roaming around when he found a small tattoo shop at the corner of the street. He stopped, and suddenly found himself walking in without thinking.

“Hi. Do you like uhh remove tattoos,” he asked, talking to the man behind the counter.

The man just raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m legal,” he added, then took out his ID for verification.

The man took it in his hands and squinted at the details written on it. Probably checking if it’s fake or not. Then he grunted and looked at him uninterestedly.

“Sure, show me your tattoo”

Jackson happily nodded at that, then he pulled up his sleeves and showed him the mark.

It was only a glance, but the man had immediately stepped back, face paling in fear as he trained his eyes back to his face.

“Sir, we did not do anything. We promised the Knives that we’ll pay all our debts in due time. So please, please, whatever we did wrong, don’t hurt us. I have kids”

Jackson was confused at first. But it quickly dawned on to him when he noticed the man eyeing up his mark. He cursed at himself for not realizing it soon enough. He should’ve known better, especially when they themselves have gone under the same situation many times before.

“No, no you got it all wrong sir. I don’t belong to any of them. I just want this to be removed,” he clarified, pointing at the mark on his wrist.

But the man just ran away, leaving him alone inside.

He waited for him to come back, just so he could at least apologize and clear things up. But he never did. So he just left him a note instead, then walked out of the shop.

A frustrated sigh left his mouth after a few more hours of no luck. The sun is already setting down, and he doesn’t want to go home without getting anything. He shouldn’t be there anyway, because their dad would be there at this time.

Not that he’s afraid of him. He just doesn’t want Yugyeom and BamBam getting into trouble if he finds out they’d been sneaking him in.

He drummed his fingers on his thigh, contemplating on his other choices. He could easily find a job if he wanted to. But he doesn’t want to go there—yet. Though he’s almost tempted to do it.

But he promised BamBam last night that he wouldn’t go there. So he’s a little undecided if he should go or not.

When he told them last night that he’s going to find a job, BamBam immediately made him swear not to go to Red District. He agreed, knowing that it could only make their situation worse. The last time they were there, they were almost killed because BamBam kicked the man who groped his ass. Luckily, they were able to escape before he can get to them.

But that was last night, when he was still pretty confident that he would find at least a single job.

He groaned, then got up, and headed towards where the district is. As long as they don’t know he went there, then it would be fine.

As expected, it doesn’t take much until the offers started piling up. But the thing is, the offers had only limited his choice between two things—either take up a job as a whore, or sell drugs. Some creep had even dared to offer him drugs in exchange for a blowjob. He shivered from disgust. This is why they never wanted to go back to this side of town ever again, especially at night. He walked around a little more, trying to find at least someone who’s willing to pay him for cleaning up a bar or something, while also making sure he’s attentive enough in case someone tries to sneak up on him. People in this area knows how to pinpoint newcomers from regulars. You’d be easily targeted if you’re not cautious enough.

He jumped when he heard someone snickering behind him.

“This is a Spades territory, what’s a Rose doing here,” he heard him say.

Turning around, he found the man sitting in front of a bar. He slowly stepped back on a nearby wall, covering his back, and then quickly scanned the area for other human presence. You can never be so sure. Then he subtly looked at his wrist to check if his mark was still covered up. He made sure to hide it before walking in to the territories. Some people gets provoked when they see members from other clans roaming around without permission. And with him knowing shit about which territory belongs to who, he knows he could end up getting into trouble if he walks in without covering it up.

So he wonders how the man knew he was associated with Black Rose, even without seeing his mark. Well that, unless he’s bluffing, which he doubts, or he was there when the auction had taken place.

Then he must be either an S or A-rank.

“I was there when Black Rose bought you. Can’t mistake someone with that pretty face,” he smirked.

Thought so.

Jackson just glared at him, but he didn’t respond. If this is a Spades territory, then he should watch his back. He could easily be killed right there and then if he gets into a mess.

On the larger perspective, the three families are seen as a whole body of interdependent allies, cooperating and working together as one. This is fairly true to the main groups and their first-tier associates. However, as you move down the scale to the smaller factions—sub groups, gangs, fraternities, that are only partly associated with them for the sake of a title, it is where the conflict becomes apparent. And in this area, where those groups had huddled up, is where the core of conflict takes place. These people don’t play with the rules. You provoke them, they kill you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Knife, a Spade, or a Rose.

“I assume you’re here to find a job. I can give you a job,” he offered, eyes filling with mirth as he dragged off a cigarette that’s hanging on his mouth.

Jackson just snorted at him.

“No thanks, I’m not desperate enough to suck your dick for money,” he spat, then turned back around to leave.

He doesn’t want to risk getting provoked much longer either.

“I know your brothers”

He immediately tensed up. With a dark look on his face, he turned around to properly face the man.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” he snarled, hands clenching into fists as he waited for him to respond.

The man just grinned at him in return, then got up and walked towards his direction.

Jackson stayed still, but he was preparing himself for a fight. He watched as the man leaned closer to him, then with rough fingers, lifted up his chin.

“You don’t remember me? I’ve been playing poker with your father all your life and you still don’t remember my face? How sad”

Jackson tried to recall him after that, to no avail.

“Say, don’t you want to get out of that house? I could offer you a place if you want. For you and your brothers,” he offered, eyes turning dark as he noticed the flicker of emotion on Jackson’s eyes.

“Plus I won’t tell your father that you came back”

That was the last straw.

Jackson frowned at him, but he considered it. Of course he should’ve not trusted him back then, but the offer was just too—tempting. And they won’t even have to worry about their dad finding it out if it turns out well.

So he gave it a chance.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Let me see your mark and I’ll tell you what it is,” he demanded, almost immediately after the words came out from his mouth.

He hesitated at first, because it’s different from what the others have.

“It’s different,” he mumbled, as he removed the bandage that’s covering his wrist.

But the man just waited for him patiently, and took his arm afterwards, staring intently at the mark. Jackson wasn’t able to notice the smirk that landed on his face right after that.

“Excellent choice. Just do what I say, and you’ll be fine, alright?”

He just nodded and listened to whatever he wanted him to do.

The job was simple. He just have to give him the card that he’s supposed to give back to Black Rose, then it’s done. Seems simple, he thought. Yet for some reason, he feels like there’s something more to it, something that the man’s been hiding from him, especially when he was told that he has to activate it himself using his mark.

He doesn’t even know how he knew of the order to begin with.

“But I told you it’s different. Black rose has a different mark”

He just got a small shrug in return.

“It’s fine. It can be activated by any mark, as long as it’s associated with any of the three clans”

He stayed silent for a while, still unconvinced that it was all just that. But then again, the offer came up to his mind, and he was suddenly hopeful.

“T-then you’d offer us a place right?”

He bit his lip then lowered his head to the ground, not liking the way it came out.

The man just watched him amusedly, smirk plastered on his face, as he eyed his body intently.

“Of course. I’d even offer you more than that if you want”

Jackson scoffed then flipped him off before he left, agreeing to meet up two days after he gets the work done.

It took him one whole day to get the card. He wasn’t able to get it at first because he went to the wrong place. Luckily, he was able to get it before the dark.

The guy who gave it to him was a Rose. He knew it from the mark on his neck. It was the same as what Youngjae has.

He stared at the card for a long time, wondering what it does.

Then that’s when he finally noticed it. He wasn’t able to notice it at first, because he was busy catching up the last train.

He traced the pattern with his fingers. He only saw it once before, and got mesmerized with it in an instant. When Youngjae noticed him staring, he told him that it was Jinyoung’s personal mark, something that can only be used by him.

A small frown graced his face. Then does that mean it belongs to him? He looked at it a little longer this time, trying to convince himself that it wasn’t the same mark.

It only made him more anxious in the end.

He groaned. Suddenly, he was no longer sure if he wanted to give it away or not.

It doesn’t help that he also doesn’t know what it does. BamBam and Yugyeom would know for sure, ‘cause they’re like the younger versions of Youngjae. But if he goes to them, they’d also ask him how he got it, and why he has it in the first place. Then those questions would eventually turn into ‘where did you get it?’ and ‘didn’t we tell you not to go to Red District?’

Honestly, he doesn’t want to deal with another scolding.

Yet at the same time, he also doesn’t want to just give it away to anyone without knowing what it does. Especially if it really belongs to Jinyoung.

Sighing, he got up and headed to BamBam and Yugyeom’s room. It’s pretty late, but he’s sure they’re still up.

“Bam?”

* * *

BamBam cursed as he desperately tried to avoid another attack from Yugyeom. He glanced behind him to find Jackson walking inside. He clicked his tongue. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his brother, but this game is extremely crucial. He literally couldn’t afford losing another game to Yugyeom or he’ll have to give up his allowance for one month. Who knows what he’ll do with the money. He’s sure he’d just spend it all on ice choco anyway.

So he wanted to tell him to wait for a while, but stopped when he noticed the look in his eyes. He didn’t even look at them when he came in. Normally, he would scold them for staying up late playing games. But not tonight. Rather, he just lied there on their bed, looking completely lost at whatever he’s thinking on his mind.

He frowned, then nudged Yugyeom to ask him what’s up, but Yugyeom just cursed at him then kicked him on his side, still unaware of what’s happening behind him.

So he just straight up pulled the modem off and smacked the back of his head. He gave him a sharp look after that then jerked his head towards where their brother is.

Jackson was still out of it. He didn’t even notice what just happened between them.

“What’s up, hyung,” he asked.

But the man didn’t respond. It’s almost as if he was hearing nothing.

“Jackson hyung,” Yugyeom tried this time.

That finally got his attention.

“O-oh can I ask you something,” he stuttered, then showed them the card he’s holding on his hand.

“Do you know how this works?”

BamBam gawked at it. Behind him, he could feel Yugyeom buzzing with excitement. But it quickly turned into worry, as he realized the implications of his brother having it.

“Where did you get that hyung? Can I have it,” Yugyeom immediately asked, already getting up to walk over to him.

But BamBam pulled him back and gave him a look. Yugyeom just pouted at him, but he sat back down. BamBam’s sure that he knows it as well. Their brother could end up in big trouble if this thing remains under his possession.

So BamBam approached him instead, and took the card out from his hand, carefully inspecting it. He doesn’t know if it’s already activated or not, so he made sure not to touch its sensor.

He couldn’t help but to feel astounded at how sophisticated it was made. They’ve seen one before, but it was never designed like this.

“It’s a tracking device, hyung. Also known as T-card. That’s what they call it”

He turned around after that and headed back to their computer. Yugyeom’s already working on the preparations, grinning like an idiot as he boots up a program. He shook his head. He couldn’t help but to feel giddy about it himself. It’s true that they’ve seen one before, but they never got the chance to really look into it. So this is like, a once in a lifetime chance.

“So, h-how does that work?”

BamBam hummed at that, then looked at Yugyeom, who’s suddenly frowning at him. They don’t know why their brother was so nervous about it. But he has an idea.

He just have to confirm it.

“Well, basically they are used to store a person’s or multiple persons’ location. We don’t know for sure until we open it, but that’s the basic idea. All three families use it. Even local gangs use it to some extent,” he explained.

Then he glanced at Yugyeom.

“But you see, this is kinda different from what we usually encounter”

“So how did you get it, hyung,” Yugyeom finally voiced out, as they started working with its encryptions.

They only got a deafening silence in return. That was enough to confirm some of their suspicions.

“I just saw it somewhere while I was walking outside”

BamBam almost snorted at the outright lie. But he let it slip. If their brother thinks it’s best to hide it from them, then it’s alright. They always trust him when it comes to that. They’re not the only geniuses among the three of them. In fact, their brother is more dangerous than they are. And they’re proud of that.

But still, it didn’t stop them from worrying about him. It was only two days ago since he came back. From where, they don’t know. They don’t want to lose him again if this turns out dangerously bad.

It took them a total of five hours to penetrate the card. Too long compared to the few minutes they spend for regular ones. When BamBam first saw it, he immediately knew it’s different from the other ones. But he didn’t expect its security to be so tough that they had to redo the process multiple times, just so they could strip all the layers covering it up. He almost felt like he had fried up all his brain cells after they were done. Even Yugyeom had complained about it, and that’s already Yugyeom. He sighed. They’re just glad that it’s already activated. Or else they would never be able to open it up. No matter how good their skills are.

And that’s another thing to talk about. If the regular ones can be activated by any of the three clan marks, this one can only be activated by one specific mark. And based from what they found out from its program, only six persons were authorized for its design, with the sixth one being added only about a week ago.

They almost choked in shock when they’ve seen the mark’s design. It was exactly similar to what their brother has on his wrist.

Yugyeom immediately noticed it when their brother came back, until Jackson began hiding it from them. So they never dared asking him about it.

“Who gave you this card, hyung,” he asked.

Jackson just closed his eyes. Then he groaned.

“Can’t you just tell me what it is?”

Bambam sighed. Jackson was obviously frustrated about it, so he didn’t push it further.

“It’s more sophisticated than what we expected. Though we’re not sure if it’s already activated or not,” he lied, trying to confirm some of his suspicions.

“It’s already activated,” Jackson immediately replied.

“How do you know it’s already activated,” he heard Yugyeom ask.

Jackson went silent after that, eyes blinking rapidly as he rubbed his hands on his thighs, a habit he has when he’s anxious about something.

“Anyway, these things are activated by marks. I’m sure you’re aware of the three clan marks,” he asked.

“Yeah. They can be activated by any mark associated with the three families, right?”

Both of them frowned at that. Whoever gave it to him must have lied about the true nature of the card. For what reason, they don’t know. But it’s not making them less worried than they already are.

“This is different, hyung. Regular ones can be activated by any of the three marks, but this one, can only be activated by a specific mark,” he explained, showing him the sketch on his screen.

It didn’t take long until he noticed his face increasingly growing pale.

“And only six persons has this mark, with the last one being added only about a week ago,” he added.

“It also does not work solely as a tracking device. You see this,” he pointed at the second sensor on the card. They hadn’t noticed it at first, because it was carefully hidden from sight. They had only found out about it when they’ve read it on the program.

“If the owner of the card touches this, an alert will be sent to the nearest intel source, ordering them to send reinforcement. But what’s interesting about it is that it’s not exclusive to any of the three groups. The alert will be sent to all intel sources around that area, regardless of which group it belongs to”

“So whoever created this device must be a top dog,” Yugyeom remarked.

“Or it must be created for someone important. To protect him. Or her,” BamBam mused, looking carefully at where Jackson is.

Jackson didn’t even know that he was holding his breath until then.

“W-what if it falls to the wrong hands,” he whispered. He’s no longer sure what to feel about it.

“If it’s already activated, then it can be used to hack intel sources, which is really crucial. If not, then it’s good as nothing,” he replied.

“So whoever gave you that mark, must have cared for you a lot. We don’t know much about clan marks but I’m sure you know that it’s different from the official ones, right,” he asked, watching the blur of emotions pass through the older’s eyes.

“But after reading its program, I’m sure it’s more of a protective mark, than an identifying one”

“Just what did you do this time, hyung?”

For the first time that night, Jackson looked at his two brothers. And only then did he realize the sheer worry that’s lurking in their eyes.

“Pack your things, you can’t stay here. You have to stay at Henry’s house for the meantime until I come back,” he told them.

“Huh? But hyung, what did you do? It’s not like it’s dangerous. It will actually protect you if you use it,” Yugyeom frowned. But BamBam just looked at him sharply and told him to shut up.

Jackson ignored them, and instead just snatched the card away from BamBam’s hand and started packing his things up. How can he be this dumb? Of course they’d just use him to their advantage.

“Just trust me, okay? I’ll explain it to you later. So please, please go there for now. Don’t come back here. And don’t talk to any of dad’s friends”

BamBam nodded at that. He knows from the very start that there’s something fishy about it—something dangerous. Of course he wanted to protect his brother. But they obviously don’t have the physical capability to do that. So it’s better if they just don’t interfere with it for now.

But that doesn’t mean they’d do nothing.

They just have to do in the shadows.

“Okay. We’ll do that. Just do whatever you need to do hyung. And promise us you’ll come back”

Jackson just hugged both of them tightly after that.

“Of course I’ll come back. I’m sorry I have to drag you into this. I promise I’ll fix it all up,” he smiled, then he left.

Jackson ran as fast as he can towards the next stop. If he’s early, he would still be able to catch the last bus. He needs to give it back to Jinyoung before it falls into wrong hands. He cursed at himself for being so naive, and for trusting so easily. All for fucking freedom, he laughed, as he felt wetness growing from the corners of his eyes.

He hurriedly walked towards the station, cautious of anyone following him. But even before he could reach another step, he felt someone drag him from behind, and slammed his back to the ground.

He looked up and saw the man he met at the bar.

“Where do you think you’re going? You think we don’t know what you’re up to? I spent a lot of money just to get a hold of that card. So don’t fuck it all up,” he hissed, and then he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally done with the old chapters!!! YAYYY!!!
> 
> Sorry if I uploaded this a little late haha you know because of the comeback.
> 
> Please keep supporting our boys! 
> 
> Alright that's all, tell me know your thoughts! I always read your comments ❤️


	8. CHAPTER VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER IS HEAVY
> 
> Thank you for waiting, everyone! At last I finally got time to work on my stories. Sorry for the long wait. I got sick last time I updated this and had to recover for months after that hahaha. I hope you're doing well and I hope that you like how this story is going so far. Hmm what else, I got caught up with work today. Something came up, so I think I will have to delay writing the next chapter for about 1-2 days (it will give me time to think of what will/should happen next). 
> 
> I've been thinking a lot last night about how this story should turn out, and I felt that I don't like it to turn out crazily complicated? What do you think? 
> 
> Anyway, have you been listening to the album? All songs were really great! I really like this era a lot hahaha. So yeah, see you again after 5-7 days. I hope I can fix things fast so I can proceed with the next chapter. Love you! <3
> 
> **NOTE TO READERS (12/05/2020): I'm so sorry for this but I think I'll stick with the age difference like what I did before. So Jackson here is 21 and Jinyoung is 25. I'm so sorry again for the confusion, but this is final!To new readers, just ignore this. I've already changed the list of ages in Chapter III.

**CHAPTER VIII**

Jackson woke up from a huge headache. It’s almost surreal how he finds himself under the same situation over and over again. And it’s not even a month yet since it first happened. He couldn’t help but think that maybe he suddenly transgressed into a freaking Law & Order series that BamBam and Yugyeom liked watching, and ended up taking the unlikeable villain’s fate (alright, shout out to Chinese BL novel lovers out there! Haha spreading all my love to you).

He sighed, trying to figure out how they tied him up. From somewhere inside, he could hear distant laughs and chattering, telling him that he was not left alone this time.

Rounding up his wrists, he felt the rope started loosening up. A small smirk appeared on his face. A couple more tweaks here and there and his hands were finally free. He gently rubbed the rope marks on his wrists, and looked around him for the first time. Honestly, it wasn’t really that reassuring. Him being tied so lax like that just implies that the place is heavily-guarded. So there’s really no use for it. It was all just for comfort.

Soon enough, he heard the sound of footsteps coming over to where he is. He quickly felt up his pockets to look for the card.

“Looking for this,” he heard someone ask, before a broken card was thrown into his face.

He looked up and found the same man he met at the bar.

“What did you do,” he glared.

The man just laughed at him.

“Stop fucking around, you did a good fucking job deceiving us. That shit is fake,” he growled, before kicking him hard on the face.

Jackson groaned from the pain.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” he asked again, still lost at what was going on.

He felt the man walk closer to him. Then he pulled his hair back up.

“Stop fucking pretending, you little shit. Trying to deceive us that it was actually real. You got us good this time,” he sneered, then he felt another jab come right up to his gut.

Jackson coughed up blood, as he tried digesting what the man just said. It didn’t clear the confusion on his head. 

Then a small chip was suddenly thrown to the ground.

“You think we wouldn’t notice that it was rigged?”

Jackson frowned. He didn’t get it at first. Until he remembered what BamBam and Yugyeom did. Yet at the same time, it still didn’t make sense, because he was sure that they didn’t do anything with the card. He was there all along when they opened it.

“You think Black Rose would catch us with just a simple trick as that?”

He just sat there silently for a moment, thinking hard of what the man was trying to say. So the card was fake, and rigged. But he was sure it was the same card that was given to him the other day. He can still see the dent on its edge when he dropped it on his way back. And if it really was fake, then BamBam and Yugyeom wouldn’t have had opened it.

So they must’ve done something to it, to make it appear like that.

He raised his head to retort, but stopped when he saw the smirk on the man’s face.

“You really have no idea about all of this, huh,” he mused.

Then he laughed.

“That bastard is really cunning, to even use someone like you”

A bunch of photographs were then thrown into the ground, each capturing the same image of the card they have.

“Those were all the fake cards they used to track us down. You’re not the first,” he revealed.

“They all look real, yeah? That’s ‘cause they have to be. If they don’t do it like that, we wouldn’t dare take the bait. We know how to detect fake ones,” he added, lighting up a cigarette.

Jackson clenched his fists as everything started making sense.

“You’re too naive for this kind of shit”

“And to think that you’d actually trust that bastard and try to give it back to him,” he mused.

Jackson frowned harder at that.

“What? Did you suddenly think you’re special, to be given that mark,” he asked again, eyes still glittering with mirth.

“Shut up,” Jackson snapped, as he glared back at the man.

He only got a snort in return.

He probably looks pathetic right now.

“But it got us good this time. Almost got caught. We really thought it was the real thing, since he had given you that mark,” he admitted.

“But it all turned out that he’s still a fucking asshole”

Jackson just sat there quietly, jaw clenched as he takes in everything that was revealed to him. From behind his back, he can feel his hands shaking. From anger? He wasn’t sure.

He’s not even sure who should he be angry at by then.

“What will we do to him,” he heard someone ask after a while.

“Wait for Black Rose to turn his papers back to GOLD, then we buy him,” the man grunted, before walking away.

“Go put him on the room with the boys, we can at least milk something from him until then,” he ordered.

But then another man came up.

“Should we drug him then?”

Jackson immediately tensed up. Not those fucking drugs again.

But he only heard a snort in return.

“You wouldn’t want to do that,” he said, then he cocked his head to the side to look at him one last time.

“He turns like a freak when he’s drugged”

Jackson looked at him in shock, then turned away immediately when he saw the smirk on his face. He almost felt his throat closing up, as he tried to bury back the surge of memories that passed through his mind.   


He frowned.

Those times when he’d curl himself up into a ball, not just because it was cold, but because he was terrified.

_What a freak._

His father’s friends…they like forcing him to take up drugs whenever they get too high.

He didn’t know what for. They just like to do it from time to time.

_Tastes good right? Get it right. Open your mouth._

And those times when he’d desperately beg for his father to give them food, because they haven’t had any for the whole day.

_Get the fuck out of my sight, you shit. Take your brothers and get out of this house!_

He would be beaten up first, before he throws them some coins.

He would then go to the nearest convenience store to get the cheapest noodles. Then he’d go back and feed both BamBam and Yugyeom.

He flinched when he felt someone dragging him up to his feet, pushing him towards another hallway.

In the end, he’d only be left with the scraps; eating slowly so he wouldn’t upset his stomach. Hell he’d even leave a portion of it sometimes, just so they would have something for the next day.

BamBam and Yugyeom would then stay with him as he eats, looking out for the ‘bad guys.’

 _Freak._ He laughed. It’s been so long since he last heard of that word.

* * *

The place was simple. It was just a large room with multiple decks, housing about twenty or so boys of various ages. You know those barracks from the military? It was close to that. Except that it was filled with whores, and not military men.

He turned around his bed, thinking. Just what was he really trying to do back then?

Gradually, he found his eyes gravitating towards his wrist.

_Did you suddenly think you’re special?_

Jackson scoffed. What was he thinking? Going back to return the card. When in fact, it was only a bait all along.

Fucking ridiculous.

He curled his body into a ball, wrapping his arms around his legs. He’s tired of thinking, and of trusting people.

He watched as another boy gets dragged inside. He was wailing, begging to be released.

But everyone else just turned a blind eye, ignoring how frail the boy is, or how hard he was sobbing on the floor.

Suddenly, he found himself looking at it differently. It’s the same scene, but with a different situation, different people, and different voices.

Really…what’s the point of trusting when life treats you like this?

_“Hello, kiddo. What’s your name,” he heard someone ask._

_Turning around, Jackson smiled at the man._

_“Hi, I’m Jackson”_

_The man kneeled down in front of him and opened his arms wide, urging him to come over for a hug._

_Jackson giggled, then ran towards him, wrapping his small arms around his neck._

_But then all of a sudden, everything turned dark, and the light atmosphere turned heavy with sorrow and sadness. Fear instantly gnawed his senses. So he tried to turn back around. But the man held his jaw tight, and forced him to look at his eyes._

_“That’s right, take it kiddo. You like it right?”_

Jackson screamed, but it was all in his head. He woke up covered in cold sweat, eyes wet with tears, as he tried to calm down his shaking body. He choked when he felt bile rising up. He got up, ran fast to the bathroom, and threw up. He felt so weak, scared, and terrified all at the same time.

This is what happens when he takes up drugs. More than a week and yet he’s still getting those dreams.

Taking deep breaths, he wrapped his arms around his legs. Then he tried to recall what the dream was.

Nothing.

All that was left was fear, and hollowness. It always turns out like this in the end.

“A-are you alright?”

He jumped from surprise. Turning around, he found a young boy peeking at him from the bathroom door. He looks somewhere between 18-20. Young enough to be there.

He forced out a smile, then nodded.

“I saw you shivering earlier. I wanted to wake you up, but we were told not to walk around after curfew hours,” he mumbled.

“Are you sick?”

Jackson almost wanted to laugh. Maybe he really was sick.

“No. I…just had a bad dream, that’s all,” he replied.

The boy let out a relieved sigh after that.

“That’s great then. You got me worried for a minute there,” he smiled.

Jackson got up and washed his hands. Some people…are like this. He suddenly remembers Yugyeom. He’s sure he’d get along well with this boy.

These kids are the purest. Getting worried for people they don’t even know. Taking care of them, and risking getting caught in return. People like these exists even in this wicked world. And he hates it that they had to be caught up with the same people who would just destroy them in the end.

He looked at the kid on the mirror. He’s thin, but he has pretty eyes. He’s also smaller than him, which is surprising since he got used of people towering him all his life. Especially when he’s with Yugyeom.

“I’m Jackson,” he said, when he noticed him staring.

“I’m Feilong”

* * *

Time passed with him just staring blankly at nothing. He could never sleep again after an episode like that. If he does, he’d only end up having the same dream all over again.

It was only a matter of time until morning came up, and a couple of men walked in and barked at them to wake up.

Jackson carefully inspected the place. He couldn’t do it last night since the lights were already turned off by the time he arrived. The room is bigger than what he thought of at first. With no windows, and only one exit point to the far right. The ceiling was also fairly high, making it difficult for anyone to climb up or down if anything happens.

Each of them stood straight at the foot of their beds, as the men inspected them one by one. He waited until one of them stopped in front of him.

“Hi, pretty boy,” the man leered, checking him out.

He just looked at him blankly, waiting for him to finish whatever he needs to do.

“Aahhh why do you have to be so cold,” he chuckled, then he raised his hand to touch his face. But Jackson slapped it away.

The man just smirked at him, and proceeded on inspecting his bed.

The morning went fairly normal. Just them taking the usual morning routine—eating breakfast, washing up. Activities began to take turn as noon arrived. From what he heard, the house opens at six in the evening, so they have to be ready by then.

One man came up at around two in the afternoon, giving them new sets of enema, lube, and other toiletries needed for their ‘preparation’. He had to ask Feilong for help with it, ‘cause he wasn’t sure how to do it properly.

It was fucking awkward, alright. But he just sucked it all up.

They were called out at around five, to be inspected again.

Then the selection began.

They stood in line as it happened. Beside him is Feilong, who was already shaking in fear even before they went in. Surely, the boy had done this before, but honestly, who wouldn’t be afraid of this kind of shit when you’re this young?

These old fucks should be ashamed of doing this.

Jackson patted his back, to calm him down a bit. Feilong just looked at him and smiled. Not long after, men had started coming in to usher them to their respective rooms.

It’s time for service.

Jackson prepared himself. Taking a deep breath, he focused his mind on the task in hand.

There are a total of three exit points in the hallway, five security cameras, and a total of five rooms, each secured with both physical keycards and fingerprint locks. The ceilings are high, but not high enough not to be used for escape. Vents are also not fixed, which is really convenient when the time comes. From how the windows and stairs are situated, he could say that they’re probably somewhere around the left wing, which is not too far from the main hall. He hummed as he takes in everything he could use to map out the place.

Good enough, Jackson thought. But not good enough for him.

How thankful he is that they didn’t drug him up this time. Or else, his senses would be all scrambled by then.

He found himself later on with a fat middle-aged man. Not really by himself tho, because Feilong was also there. He tried not to get frustrated by it, because he has to map out the area before his service ends. But with Feilong there, it makes everything really fucking complicated.

He wasn’t expecting it to happen, so he’s a little taken aback. He wouldn’t be able to do it with another person in tow. Especially with someone as frail as Feilong.

But then if he escapes alone, the boy would surely be punished in place of him. And he wouldn’t be able to bear the guilt from that in the end.

“Wow, you really are a beauty,” he heard the old man say.

He turned his eyes to him, taking in his appearance. He’s pretty sure he wasn’t purely Korean, from his accent alone. Probably a mix of hispanic and Korean genes.

“Come here,” he demanded, gesturing for both of them to sit on his lap.

Eww.

Jackson struggled so hard not to roll his eyes, and instead just shrugged and proceeded with the plan.

He just have to tag Feilong along.

With careful precision, he replayed the movements on his head.

Stand with your feet and hips shoulder width apart. Bend your knees slightly. Then aim. Grip the gun high on the back strap, to gain leverage against recoil. Then place another hand firmly against the exposed portion of the grip not covered by the dominant hand, with all four fingers under the trigger guard, and with the index finger pressed hard underneath it. Once done, bam!

That’s how the actors do it in the movies.

What’s…rare about him, is that he learns movements quickly. To the point that he only needed to see a movement once and he’ll be able to copy it perfectly. BamBam told him once that he really has sharp instincts and excellent observation skills. It happened before when they were watching a movie. BamBam was trying to copy a movement from a martial arts film they were watching, but he keeps on failing at some parts. So he got up and taught him how it was done in the film. BamBam and Yugyeom just gawked at him after that and asked when did he start learning martial arts. He just looked at them incredulously and asked if they weren’t just watching it happen on the film.

That was the first time he became aware of it. Since then, he would constantly find himself testing it whenever he has a chance, just to check if it was just pure luck or an actual skill. He never thought that it would actually come in handy at times like this.

He walked slowly to the man, with Feilong towing behind. Then once he was near enough, he quickly pulled out the gun he snatched from one of the guys who brought them there, pulled the safety off, then aimed at his head.

“Don’t move,” he warned.

The man’s eyes widened in shock. He was about to open his mouth when Jackson spoke again.

“Don’t make a noise as well, or you’ll get your brains down on the floor”

Behind him, he heard Feilong gasp. So he looked at him and smiled.

“Why don’t you get me some ropes so we can get this over quickly?”

Feilong quickly nodded and hurried to the cabinet where they keep the toys.

Jackson did everything as quick as he can, then faced Feilong afterwards.

“Now listen, you need to keep up with me as fast as you can, alright? We only have some time left until they check in on us. Can you do it,” he asked, voice gentle so he wouldn’t freak the kid out.

“I-I don’t know,” he replied, fear clear on his eyes.

Jackson pursed his lips, a little vexed at the situation. He understands that he’s afraid. But if he’s like this, they would surely get caught in no time.

“I have a little sister here as well, gege,” he finally admitted.

Jackson looked at him in surprise. The hopelessness in his eyes making it clear where the fear is coming from.

It makes him more mad at how… _cruel_ this world is.

Sighing, he asked.

“Where is she?”

Feilong just looked at him dumbfounded for a moment, then immediately blurted out the direction towards the female quarters. Jackson kept it on his mind and told him to wait for a while so he can pick her up before they go. He also gave him the gun and quickly taught him how to use it, in case something comes up.

He was about to go when Feilong stopped him. Turning around, he saw the kid looking at him with wide, tearful eyes, now filled with hope and trust.

“Nǐ shì wǒmen de dì yīgè yěshì zuìhòu yī gè xīwàng gege”

_You’re our first and last hope, brother._

Jackson couldn’t help but to feel both warmth and sadness creep up through his heart at the same time. It’s really heartbreaking, to see innocent kids like them be treated as mere commodities. To be sold and bought, and used against your will. To trust, and to lose trust. To hope, and to lose hope.

Jackson shook his head and quickly climbed up the walls to sneak into an open vent.

But it wasn’t too long until he heard gunshots ringing through his ear.

One.

Then two.

Then three shots.

He abruptly turned his head around, to the direction where it came from. It all came from the same place.

“No,” he mumbled, heart racing as he ran back to where he was before.

It was all too late. What he saw afterwards was no longer the eyes full of warmth and hope, but one that was already void of life and emotion. Jackson averted his eyes, steadying himself from the sudden surge of sorrow and guilt. Then he raised his head and glared at the only man left in the room.

The man just looked back at him with the same ferocity. His eyes almost crazed from madness.

“You. Did you tell him to kill my brother,” he asked, then aimed his gun to his head.

Jackson maintained his glare at him. He doesn’t know what exactly happened, or how the man ended up dead. But based on the timings of the gunshots, Feilong probably fired the gun first, and ended up killing their client. Then this man came up, and killed him.

“Answer me, you little shit,” he screamed, eyes turning a shade darker as he looked at him dead in the eye.

Jackson slowly stepped back, as he thought of a way to get out.

But it didn’t take long until the man was grabbing him by his neck and shoving him hard to the ground.

“You piece of shit, you really think you can escape from me huh,” he growled, tightening his grip on his neck.

Jackson kicked him away, then quickly got up to run for the door. But the man was quick. In no time, he found himself back on the ground, with a gun pressed firmly on his head.

“Don’t fucking move or I’ll kill you,” the man warned.

Jackson just smirked at him.

“Then kill me,” he dared.

He knows he wouldn’t be able to. Not when he’s worth a dime.

He groaned in pain as the man hit his face with the back of the gun. Then he grabbed his hair and made him look back at him.

“That’s true,” he laughed.

“Glad you know what you’re worth”

He then gripped both his wrists tight above his head, then leaned closer to his ear.

“But you see, I can play games with you,” he heard him say, voice tinted with mischief and arousal.

“You know, like how we played with you when you were younger”

Jackson felt his blood ran cold. A sharp pain suddenly passed through his head, the usual thing he gets when he was having an attack.

“You can’t remember anything, right? How about I make you remember,” he whispered on his ear.

Jackson struggled from his grip. He can already feel panic coming up.

No, he can’t do this.

He’s fucking terrified.

“Do you remember, fifteen years ago, you just came home from school and we were there, right,” he laughed, watching Jackson start struggling from his grip.

_“Daddy, daddy, I got an A+ on my test,” he blurted out when he came home that day._

_He immediately ran towards the living room, where the noise is coming from. But stopped when he saw a couple of other men sitting on the couch. He looked at his father, but the man just glared at him._

_“Shut the fuck up, kid. Go to your room”_

_With a pout, he turned around and headed towards his room. His dad’s getting a lot of visitors lately._

_He opened the door and hurriedly walked inside. But jumped when he saw another man._

_“Hello, kiddo. How was your day?”_

“Please stop,” he choked.

He wanted to scream so hard, but he felt so weak.

“Why? You were really enjoying it right?“

“You were moaning so hard”

“No, please,” he pleaded, voice shattering as he let out a sob.

“Do you miss it?”

“Do you miss him?”

That was the last thing he heard until a couple of gunshots were fired. Gasping, he opened his eyes, and watched as the man’s eyes turned dull.

Then slowly, it was replaced by a pair of cold, stern eyes, looking down at him.

It’s almost funny how he felt relieved just by looking at…those eyes.

“I thought I told you to come back within five days”

Jackson just stared at him for a moment, before looking away.

He doesn’t want to…trust him again.

He flinched when he felt a warm hand lay gently on his cheek, forcing him to turn his head back forwards. Then he felt his thumb wipe up a tear that fell down from his eye.

“Are you mad at me now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER IS HEAVY
> 
> Thank you for waiting, everyone! At last I finally got time to work on my stories. Sorry for the long wait. I got sick last time I updated this and had to recover for months after that hahaha. I hope you're doing well and I hope that you like how this story is going so far. Hmm what else, I got caught up with work today. Something came up, so I think I will have to delay writing the next chapter for about 1-2 days (it will give me time to think of what will/should happen next). 
> 
> I've been thinking a lot last night about how this story should turn out, and I felt that I don't like it to turn out crazily complicated? What do you think? 
> 
> Anyway, have you been listening to the album? All songs were really great! I really like this era a lot hahaha. So yeah, see you again after 5-7 days. I hope I can fix things fast so I can proceed with the next chapter. Love you! <3
> 
> **NOTE TO READERS (12/05/2020): I'm so sorry for this but I think I'll stick with the age difference like what I did before. So Jackson here is 21 and Jinyoung is 25. I'm so sorry again for the confusion, but this is final!To new readers, just ignore this. I've already changed the list of ages in Chapter III.


	9. CHAPTER IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh work has been so tough these days, I had barely found time to write this one. I'm sorry for the delay! So how have you been lately? I hope you are all doing well. Please take care of your health! I'm taking care of my health as well, so that I won't get sick and leave this story hanging again hahaha! 
> 
> Hmmm what more, comments will be greatly appreciated, so that I'm also aware about how my readers think about the flow of this story. 
> 
> It's 10:05 pm here, and I've finished editing this earlier around noon. But I wanted to upload this together with another (old) story I've started editing earlier. The thing is, I got tired, and so I'm still not done with that. So I've decided to upload this first, and maybe upload that one tomorrow.
> 
> Please bear with me as I fix my life (and emotions) hahaha. Thank you!

**CHAPTER IX**

**NOTE: Before you continue, please be reminded that I changed back their ages to what they were before (before I started editing this). So Jackson here is 21, Jinyoung is 25, Youngjae is 23, Jaebeom is 27, Mark is 27, BamBam is 19, and Yugyeom is 18. Thanks!

The kid sure is something, Mark thought as he watched Jackson take another turn, back to the far corner where he likes to sit during meal times. It’s been over a week since he arrived at their base, to train for one month. He doesn’t know how they ended up taking him under their custody. But apparently, he has to learn some basic skills if he is to stay with Black Rose. So Youngjae asked (forced) him to take up his training, grumbling about Jinyoung being too much of an ass to be trusted for it.

He didn’t mind it, since he was curious about the kid himself. It was extremely rare for Black Rose to take up decisions like that, so everyone was eager to know what they were planning to do with the kid.

But it seems like no one wanted him around.

He couldn’t understand where the hostility was coming from at first. Yet at the same time, he never really thought of it as a problem. Instead, he just thought that it was normal, since he wasn’t part of the family to begin with. And that they’ll eventually warm up to him after some time. 

That didn’t happen. If anything, it actually worsened as the days progressed further.

It made him confused. So he started following him.

That’s how he found out how others treat him inside.

He wasn’t sure how the rumor started, or who started it to begin with. But by the time he became aware of it, it had already spread like a wildfire. And everyone was like a bunch of ants following a single thread. One after the other, then another comes in, until everyone was attacking all at once.

The bullying takes a lot of forms. From mocking him about the smallest mistakes, forcing him to do the hardest chores—by himself, to blaming him on things he didn’t do and getting punished for them in return. They had even made him do all the cleaning once, when they were all supposed to do it together instead.

It also didn’t help that the kid learns faster than anyone else, which only made them despise him even more, rumbling about how he could’ve used those skills instead of making Black Rose save his ass.

It’s totally ridiculous, to be treated like that just because everyone else is doing it.

But of all those things, Jackson never complained. Not even once.

So when he saw him sneaking in foods for everyone one night, because they were being punished for slacking off; only to end up not getting any in the end because he ‘doesn’t deserve it,’ he never complained. They never realized that it was him who had secretly snuck out that night just so everyone could fill up their empty stomachs. Or when he came to him one night to ask for medicine, because one of his seniors was really sick; only to end up getting beaten by the same senior the next day because he woke up later than usual. No one spoke about him not getting any sleep for taking care of the same person all night.

He just accepted it as it is, as if he had long been used being treated like that. It was different from what he expected him to be.

Of course he gets upset from time to time, lashing out at them. But all throughout, he never really disrespected anyone, especially those who are older than him.

And so he thought, he’s unexpectedly mature despite his age.

His eyes drifted to his wrist, where his mark has been placed. It was already healed, glaring dangerously at everyone. A small snort left his mouth when he recalled what happened the week before. Testing him like that, and giving him a protective mark at the same time. He shook his head. He couldn’t understand how Jinyoung thinks sometimes.

He walked over to where Jackson is, ignoring the deafening silence that followed through the moment he left the spot he was hiding from.

“Hi Jack Jack,” he grinned, then sat down on the vacant seat in front of him.

Jackson turned his eyes to him, and nodded. He has been pestering the kid for over a week now, yet all he got from that were curt nods and short replies.

“Why don’t you eat more? You won’t get any strength if you just eat that,” he advised, pointing at the sorry excuse of a ‘meal’ he has on his plate.

“I get full easily,” he replied, eating the last piece of carrot on it.

Mark just smiled at him, not commenting on how the kitchen ladies were always giving him less food than what the trainees were supposed to get.

“Okay, then come with me after you’re done”

Jackson looked at him in surprise, but he nodded. He quickly finished his drink and followed him outside the hall.

If he was going to be treated like this, then he might as well just train him himself. Youngjae would definitely kill him if he was made aware of this. Well, not really kill, but he would scold him to no end. And Youngjae getting angry is the least thing he needed at the moment.

The first time he noticed it was when he was teaching him stances. He thought that it was a little unusual, how he was able to learn the moves so quickly. But he let it pass, thinking that it was probably just luck, or coincidence.

He never thought that he _literally_ learns really fast.

It was his first time seeing someone like that, so he can’t help but to feel awed. it was really amazing, the way he was able to learn the moves so quickly that he only needed to do everything once.

Like that one time when he was teaching him how to assemble a gun. He wanted to test him, just to see how fast he learns. So he assembled the gun in front of him as fast as he can. Then told him to do it himself.

He fucking did it perfectly, without mistake.

So he did it again, purposely including errors and complexity this time. You know, just to test if he had never really handled one before. Because if he did, then he could never do it as smoothly as how he had done it then.

Turned out it wasn’t a fluke at all. 

He laughed at sheer amazement. He never thought that he’d ever meet someone as capable as that. But Jackson just sulked at him when he realized he was just being tested.

He quickly apologized, not wanting to upset the kid even more.

It made him wonder if Jinyoung was already aware of it. Maybe that was why he bought him? He’ll have to ask Youngjae for that some time later.

From then on, he tried teaching him various stuff. From handling guns of different types, utilizing knives and the different forms of which they can be used, to various defenses he can use in case he finds himself in trouble. More or less, he was satisfied with him by the end of the month. He was also easy to deal with, which made him like the kid even more. He likes to be alone, and do things on his own. The bullying had also thankfully died down. But still, some trainees had made it their ulterior motive to make his life hell. He just let it go, knowing that he would eventually leave soon anyway. Until one night, when a fight broke inside the barracks.

Mark looked sternly at both of them, taking in their appearance. Obviously, Jackson had been beaten really bad, with busted lips and bruises all over his face. He pursed his lips. Something tells him that there were more than two men involved in the fight.

The other trainee was also injured. He has a deep gash on his arm. But that was all. Other than that, nothing else.

He recognized him as one of Jackson’s bullies since day one. The one who likes making huge scenes just to embarrass the other.

He sighed.

“What happened?”

“He attacked me first, boss,” Junghoon immediately spat, throwing a glare at Jackson’s side.

Jackson didn’t look at him. He just kept his eyes trained on the wall, unperturbed.

So he turned his attention to him and asked.

“Did you attack him first?”

Jackson looked at him, then nodded.

“Yes sir”

Mark was appalled. So that’s it? Not even gonna defend himself. He shook his head from exasperation. Surely, there’s something more to it. But Jackson’s not making it easier for them to understand anything.

“Does anyone else knows what happened,” he asked, looking at the crowd behind them.

Everyone suddenly found the need to speak.

“I saw him attacking first, boss”

“He was trying to kill him”

“Unacceptable”

“Maybe he was trying to sabotage, boss”

Mark hardened his glare at them. They’ve probably sensed it, because everyone immediately shut up. Even Junghoon who was formerly smirking in front of him had somewhat stepped back.

“If you dare lie to me once again, you’ll see your asses back on the street, do you understand,” he snarled, making everyone nervous on their tracks.

“What, you were all so eager to speak earlier. Are you mute now?”

It was immediately followed by a loud chorus of yes sirs.

“Now, tell me what really happened,” he demanded.

A deafening silence engulfed the room; no one daring enough to speak up about what happened earlier. He was about to snap again when a thin figure wormed his way out of the crowd.

The kid was obviously terrified, from the way he was cowering at the glares he’s getting from everyone. But he did his best to calm down. He was one of the youngest trainees they have, almost same age as Jackson. He was also among those who had taken Jackson’s side.

“I-It was not Jackson hyung’s fault, sir,” he started.

“Jackson hyung was having a nightmare, a-and he was whimpering. I-It was not really that loud, but Junghoon hyung and the others got mad and yelled at him,” he said, glancing at Junghoon who was already giving him a dark look.

Then he peeked at Jackson with an almost unreadable expression.

Was it pity? He wasn’t sure, but it was close to that.

He frowned, then looked at Jackson. But he just stood there silently, not even glancing back at the kid.

“Jackson hyung got startled and…lashed out at Junghoon hyung. That was how he got that gash,” he mumbled, pointing at Junghoon’s arm.

Still confused, Mark turned to Jackson. If it really was just that, then it doesn’t make sense.

“Are you really that startled to just attack him like that,” he asked.

He can’t take sides here, even if he likes the kid. If that was the case, then it’s inexcusable.

He was still looking at him when he heard the other kid speak again.   


* * *

“Jackson hyung…was really afraid of them,” Sungho whispered, head lowered to the ground.

He could still remember the fear on Jackson’s eyes as he struggled out of their grip. It was shocking, because it was the first time he had seen him like that. He wanted to help him out, but he was too afraid to be caught up with the fight.

“H-he was crying when he woke up, and screamed at them not to touch him. So Junghoon hyung got really mad and slapped him on the face. That was when Jackson hyung attacked him. He immediately apologized after that. But Junghoon hyung didn’t accept it, and instead called up some of the other guys to pin him down,” he mumbled, recalling everything that happened that night.

From what he remembers, there were four guys pinning him down, as the others beat him up. Jackson tried to get away at first, but it was all futile in the end. It was that time, when their eyes met, that he realized how… _broken_ he is.

“Jackson hyung pleaded for them to stop, telling them not to touch him. Because he really really doesn’t like being _touched_. But it only urged them to beat him more”

He immediately shut his mouth after that; after seeing the look on their boss’ eyes. He even had to steady himself, from how intense his glare was. The underground...is really a scary place, he thought.

He doesn’t know much about their boss’ relationship with Jackson, since he was only training there temporarily. But he knows that the mark on his wrist has a special bond, he had seen one before, just with a different pattern.

That, and the fact that it was not just given to him randomly like everyone thinks.

* * *

“Get the fuck out,” Mark growled, after hearing everything.

He watched as everyone hurriedly walked out of the room, afraid of getting reprimanded. From the corner of his eyes, he saw that Jackson was also preparing to leave, but he stopped him before he could reach the door.

That was when he noticed that his hands were shaking. He wasn’t able to notice it earlier since he was hiding them behind his back.

He inhaled deeply, suddenly feeling awful for not taking the matter seriously. Just what will he say when Youngjae asks him what happened? Tell him his men were messing with him but he thought it was fine? Fuck, he’s not that suicidal, alright.

And Jinyoung. Good lord, don’t even start with that.

He looked at the kid. It feels like he was seeing a new side of him after that. The way he’d act nonchalant about everything, making them think that he’s _fine_. Making them believe that he’s _tough_.

It was all a front.

Deep inside...he was still a child.

He walked over to him, only to stop when he saw him step back.

“I won’t touch you,” he assured him.

Jackson just peeked at him, then nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“For the trouble”

Mark just shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry for not taking it seriously. I never expected it to turn out like this,” he sighed.

Jackson just stood there silently, head lowered to the ground.

He just let silence drift in, waiting for him to say anything.

“I—“

“I want to go home,” he whispered.

Mark looked at him for a moment.

Guess it’s better that way.

He let him go back after that, telling him to pack-up his things as he can call Youngjae.

He stared intently at his phone, remembering every line he needed to say, as he waited for the ringing to stop.

“What do you want, hyung? I’m busy,” he heard Youngjae grunt.

Great. And he even has to be in a bad mood at times like this.

Giving up, he sighed and told him the last thing he wanted to say.

“He said he wanted to go home”

* * *

Jackson wandered around the city complex aimlessly, dodging his body away from the bustling crowd of rush hour. Mark had offered him a ride back, but he insisted on walking instead. It’s just a half hour walk from the base anyway, so it was fine.

Youngjae was supposed to pick him up somewhere there, but he forgot where exactly he should go.

He pouts. Well, then he should just wait for him to find him.

He snorted at the thought. How funny it is to think that someone would actually want to find him. Well, of course in his case, they really had to find him, because he was their responsibility after all. He still wonders why they haven’t removed his mark yet, when it had already done its purpose. 

He just looked around, watching people do their thing. He saw kids playing around as their mothers do their shopping, teenagers hanging by the streets chatting with their friends. But most were half-dead salarymen just wanting to get by their day.

The city is lonely, he thought. It’s so big, yet at the same time, it feels suffocating living in it. People think that coming to the city was the easiest way to catch up on their dreams. But you see, it’s not as easy as that. Not everyone is lucky. 

The city is a lonely place, filled with a mix of people who have found hope, and those who have lost it in the process. It is a wicked place, especially for the likes of them. And it will eat you up if you can’t follow its pace.

He felt his heart stop when someone suddenly bumped into him, making him stumble to the ground. He abruptly looked around, immediately feeling the panic rising up from his gut. Only to laugh at himself afterwards when he had only seen a drunkard glaring down at him.

“Watch it punk,” he snarled, before walking away.

He breathed out a deep sigh. So much for trying to act like he was no longer freaked out. Getting up, he tried walking slower, to avoid any more contact with passerbys.

Why was he here again? Oh, yeah, because he asked for it.

What a fucking coward.

Honestly, he wasn’t expecting much when he was brought there. The moment he heard someone talking about what happened the week before, he knew immediately that he’d never have it easy.

Does he care? Not really. It was really his fault anyway. How dumb it is to trust someone so easily as that? He should’ve know better. So when he was mocked about it, he just shrugged.

The mockery is fine. Hell he had dealt with worse than that when he was younger, so he was already used to it. But when it turned physical, that was when his mind started to panic.

Frustrating, since he was not like that before. Yet now, it feels like every touch scares the shit out of him.

He groaned from exasperation.

He doesn’t know if it was still due to the drugs. But it was already nearing two months since he had last taken something, so it couldn’t be that. But who knows?

Despite that, he couldn’t help but to think that there’s something more to it, that makes him react like this. Something other than the drugs.

Normally, it would only take one to two weeks until the effect goes away. But this time, it feels like they are occurring at random times. There were times when he feels okay, but most of the time, he gets scared at just anything. The nightmares are also more frightening this time. But he still couldn’t remember anything when he wakes up. So really, it was fucking up with his mind.

So when he woke up the other night getting yelled at, he couldn’t help but to freak out. He almost thought he was seeing someone else at first, but he doesn’t know who it is. Fuck, maybe he really was turning crazy for real.

He turned around a corner and nestled himself deeper on his coat. It wasn’t really a coat. And it could barely warm him up from the cold breeze of winter air. But it was the only coat he has.

It was already nearing midnight, and the crowd were slowly starting to disperse. During times like these, it’s easier to see everything.

He watched as a couple of kids come out from a dirty dumpster. By the looks of it, they’re probably brothers. It makes him remember those times when he’d have to do the same, just so they would have something to eat. Only to find out later that night that his father had just thrown a pizza party with his ‘buddies’. He’d find BamBam and Yugyeom outside, curled up beside a broken vending machine that someone had dumped there, freezing in cold ‘cause his father didn’t let them in when they arrived.

Clenching his fists, he forced himself to walk away.

He roamed around a little more, just going in circles around the area, looking at the lights, and the stores which were still open by that time. He does this sometimes, whenever he has free time. Or whenever his father decides to throw them out. He’d walk around like a lost child, looking at whatever catches his attention. He’d never buy anything tho, that’d be ridiculous.

He found himself stopping outside a big appliance store, eyes catching sight of a wide TV screen displayed at the corner. He stepped closer to the glass window, watching as an episode of Legion plays by. Not the movie, but those cartoon ones the kids like watching.

It was that episode where Brainiac 5 had to retrieve Superman to save some of their teammates that were held up. They were about to lose them because their strength wasn’t enough to counter the villains. But then Superman comes up and saves the day.

He found himself chuckling a little as he gets engrossed at watching.

He never really liked cartoons like this.

Because they were never true anyway.

What’s the point of watching them when you’d only get slapped by reality afterwards? What? Just so you could get your hopes up for like an hour before you get beaten up again?  
  
That’s bullshit.

There are no…heroes in this lifetime. If there is, then not everyone is lucky enough to get one for themselves.

He just stood there for a while, just watching, until the episode ends and the screen turns black. He blinked when he saw his own reflection on it.

He looks really…pitiful.

He was about to walk away when he caught sight of another reflection on the screen, looking at him from behind. Surprised, he abruptly turned around and came face to face with Jinyoung.

He immediately stepped back, still skittish from everything. Only to jump away again when he felt the coldness of the glass.

Jinyoung just stared at him all throughout.

And he just stood there still, eyes trained to the ground as he waited for…anything to happen.

And here he thought Mark told him that Youngjae will be the one picking him up.

He had probably forgot about that as well.

He peeked at him after a while, but the man was still staring at him. He was even frowning by the time their eyes met.

He almost wanted to laugh. He probably look like shit, with busted lips and everything. Mix that with a shitty coat and you’d get a fucking HOBO.

He flinched when a coat was suddenly thrown above him, covering him up. Then he felt a warm hand gently pat his head.

“You look like shit”

Somehow, he didn’t feel disgusted by the touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh work has been so tough these days, I had barely found time to write this one. I'm sorry for the delay! So how have you been lately? I hope you are all doing well. Please take care of your health! I'm taking care of my health as well, so that I won't get sick and leave this story hanging again hahaha! 
> 
> Hmmm what more, comments will be greatly appreciated, so that I'm also aware about how my readers think about the flow of this story. 
> 
> It's 10:05 pm here, and I've finished editing this earlier around noon. But I wanted to upload this together with another (old) story I've started editing earlier. The thing is, I got tired, and so I'm still not done with that. So I've decided to upload this first, and maybe upload that one tomorrow.
> 
> Please bear with me as I fix my life (and emotions) hahaha. Thank you!


	10. Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay! I was having a really really huge writer’s block on this one. Alright so some of you might already know this but I’ve written another story called Behind Broken Doors. I know I said that these two are almost similar, for they were literally born under the same storyline. But these few nights, i realized that yes they might be similar, but they’re also oh-so different at the same time. The characters and the dynamic between the two were built in different forms for each one of them. So for those who are asking if they shouldn’t read the other one because they were reading this one or vice versa, it doesn’t matter. You can read both at the same time. 
> 
> Anyway, please bear with me with this one. I cannot promise REGULAR UPDATES, but trust me, this will not be discontinued.
> 
> I also want to ask if any of you has an objection for a side pairing for Jackson. I’m thinking of a MarkSon/JackBeom side pairing. It was still only a plan, but I’m going to ask now. PLEASE give me a feedback for this one. I always consider readers’ insights when it comes to my stories. Please leave a comment! Thanks and Merry Christmas everyone!

**CHAPTER X**

_**NOTE: Please READ NOTES. I need to ask something, and need your feedback guys! Merry Christmas everyone!_

He has to be really fucking useless, Jackson thought, as he wiped another speck of imaginary dust on the counter for the millionth time. Because rather than being assigned to an actual job like they’re all supposed to, he was instead thrown to a lousy, creepy, god-knows-where-this-is bar that is seemingly occupied by—he threw another glance at an old man having a stare off with a giant crystal ball at the corner of the bar— _creeps_. He couldn’t help but to twitch at the absurdity of the whole situation. They get a customer for once, only to end up with…this. He’s utterly speechless. Maybe he should start expecting his invitation for Hogwarts soon? Who knows.

He let out an exasperated sigh. So much for being a total idiot.

Not that he’s complaining tho. After all, a job is a job, and as long as he gets paid for it, then it’s good. He just didn’t expect it be this…thrilling.

 _Good lord_.

He groaned, staring off at the empty tables around him. Only three tables were occupied at the moment. One with a guy nursing five glasses of beers—I mean, holy shit man it’s only quarter pass five, how fucked up are you? Another with a lady reading a book—like this is some sort of a cafe or something. He doesn’t know why she was there in the first place. She even asked him if they have steak, and then looked at him doubtingly when he said they don’t. Again, _good lord._ In the end, she only asked for a glass of water.

He can almost feel a headache coming up. Just what did he come unto this time?

He turned his head to the side, and stared at the third occupant of the house. He doesn’t know why he came. He didn’t ask. When he arrived, he just asked for his drink, then came back with it, nothing more. He didn’t ask if the drink was okay, because he honestly think he didn’t quite get what he told him to do. Or if he needed something else for that matter.

Jinyoung hadn’t asked as well, even if he scowled at the drink he gave him. He just sat there quietly, away from everyone else. He was probably waiting for someone, he wasn’t sure.

He jumped when he heard the _lousy_ chimes from their equally _lousy_ door clinking into existence. Those little, ugly, tinkly bells are pure evil. He really really hates them a lot to the depths of his soul. Evil evil chimes. I mean, what if you’re trying to sleep, and all you hear were those tinklings? Fucking horrifying…

Right, that’s just probably him.

Anyway.

A woman, with an elegantly tied bun on her head came in, and strolled pass the bar towards his direction. He straightened his back, remembering all the lines he has to say when a customer comes in. He forced a smile on his face, eye twitching when he saw the guy sitting behind the counter (the five-beer guy) spluttering his drink upon seeing it. He pretended not to notice how he was choking from laughter after that. Alright, so what if he couldn’t force out a smile? At least he tried. He rolled his eyes, giving up on pretending he knows shit.

“Who the fuck are you,” the woman asked, one eyebrow raised as he looked him up from head to toe.

“U-uhh,” he buffered for a moment.

Then he looked at where Jinyoung is, only to bristle when he only saw a small smirk on his face. What an asshole.

What does he say? He doesn’t even know who this woman is.

“Youngjae brought him here,” another voice say.

He turned around to see a tall, dark-haired man leaning on the counter. He blinked. Last time he checked there were only five of them there, plus one for Jooheon, who said he’s gonna take a break about two hours ago. That’s a long-ass break, huh. So he was a little surprised to see him there.

The man walked over to them, warm light slowly revealing his features.

Right. Of course it has to be the head of Spades.

The night is turning much much worse than how he expected it to be. This is not what he wanted when he said he was bored. For fucks sake, he’d rather die of boredom, thank you.

“Youngjae doesn’t just bring anyone here. What’s the catch,” the woman asked again, still looking at him.

“I was bought in an auction, ma’am,” he finally revealed.

He can say that, right? God, this is not what they taught him. This is too far from the ‘good evening ma’am/sir, welcome to Rose, what can I get you’ line they forced him to repeat over a thousand times.

The woman snorts.

“Youngjae doesn’t buy whores, what the hell are you talking about?”

Alright, scratch that, wrong answer. Okay, so what does he say now? Damn it, damn everything. It doesn’t even help that the woman looks like he was about to eat him alive. And those nails? He wouldn’t be surprised if his eyeballs would end up stuck on one of those by the end of the night.

“Jinyoung bought him”

Yeah, Jinyoung bought him. Right. He should’ve said that long time ago.

Wait, what? He turned around to see Jaebeom looking at him.

So it was _not_ Youngjae…

Haha, right…

He knew that Black Rose bought him, but he doesn’t know _who exactly_ bought him. He never really got the chance to ask. With all the drama that happened and yada yada. But more or less, he was pretty sure it was Youngjae, because why would he think it’s Jinyoung, right?

 _Fuck,_ god.

He couldn’t help but to feel…confused about it.

He heard the woman hum at that. He wasn’t looking at her, but he can feel her eyes on him.

“So where’s Jooheon,” she asked.

“That kid should be here right now. Don’t tell me he went out again?”

“Uhh…he said he’ll just take a break”

“And when was that”

“About two hours ago”

The woman pursed her lips, eyebrow twitching at what he just said. He stepped back for a bit. He should probably not try to piss her off any further. She may be a little old, but she can definitely beat him up in less than a minute.

* * *

So apparently, that woman, Minji-nim, was the _owner_ of this bar. He heard it when Jooheon came back. How can he not when Jooheon was yelling ‘I’m sorry Minji-nim’ for about a hundred times until he was finally let out.

He looked like a Panda afterwards. A cute, sulking, oversized panda.

Jaebeom just laughed at his face, telling him not to piss the old lady again or he’ll really end up losing his job.

Minji-nim followed along afterwards, still glaring at Jooheon, who also glared back at her.

“Old fat ahjumma”

“Do you really want another beating?”

Minji-nim was about to tackle Jooheon back to her office for the second time when the door opened, the chime tinkling like a fat duck that just hit puberty. They really needed to change that one, and spare their ears from further torture.

Came in was another man, about the same age as Minji-nim. He’s dressed in an expensive suit and a long, dark, fur coat.

He watched as the man walked gracefully towards where Jinyoung is.

Yeah, so he was really waiting for someone all along.

He was about to go there, to ask if the man needed anything—that’s what they taught him to do—but Jaebeom stopped him, telling him it’s alright.

He nodded, and just stood back in the corner watching everyone.

That’s when he noticed that the air was suddenly thick with tension. He wanted to ask Minji, or Jooheon, or probably Jaebeom as well about it, but he can sense that it was not the right time to do that. Not with the dark look on their faces.

“What’s he doing here,” he heard Jaebeom ask.

Minji-nim just sighed, and poured herself another shot of vodka.

“Like shit I’d know”

* * *

Time passed with them doing nothing. But as the night goes on, more and more people came in, taking his mind off somewhere else. He’d throw them a glance here and there. Ya know, just curious. But he never really got the chance to hear what they were talking about.

Jaebeom had also somehow decided to crawl up to his side, blatantly asking him to come with him to Spade. He ignored him. He was even more shameless than Mark. Mark had only asked him once about it, and he was not even being serious to begin with. But Jaebeom just couldn’t take a no. And by the third time he was asked whether he likes to join the clan or not, he was almost tempted to just say ‘no because you’re damn crazy.’

He still treasures his life to some extent, so he politely told him to ask Jinyoung about it instead. Or Youngjae.

“Why do I have to ask them, it’s your decision,” he says.

He forced himself not to let out an exasperated sigh.

Just when he was about to tell him no again, he heard a loud slap ringing on his ears. He turned around and saw Jinyoung’s companion glaring down at him.

“Don’t even dare talk about her. Do you think she’d ever forgive you? Don’t fucking make me laugh”

He watched as the man briskly walked out of the bar, silencing everyone from their own conversations.

Well, he’s surprised. But everyone else was just—I don’t know—tense?

He looked at Jinyoung, and to his bowed head. At that angle, he couldn’t see his face. Yet for some reason, he wanted to.

He was brought back to his senses when Jaebeom pulled him by his arm, back to the bar.

He didn’t ask anything, even if he’s pretty sure they might know something. He feels like he doesn’t have the right to. And really, what will he ask anyway? Who is that man? Why did he do that? What does he mean when he said that? Why is Jinyoung not doing anything? Why does he want to go there and sit with him? Because he looks lonely. And somehow, he doesn’t like it.

* * *

Time passed unbelievably fast, and by the time his shift ends, only a few others have remained, mostly passed out, or struggling to get up. Jooheon had kicked them out one by one, of course without forgetting to steal every dime they had on their pockets. Said it was a tip for making him ‘take care’ of them while they’re drunk.

If ‘taking care’ was literally kicking them out, then sure.

He was cleaning the counter when Minji spoke to him.

“How old are you, kid,” she asked.

He looked at her and saw that she was again staring at him with that odd look. He began noticing it after Jinyoung left.

“Twenty-one, ma’am”

She snorts.

“You look like ten”

He frowned, but he didn’t say anything. He’s used to people mistaking his age like that. He thinks it’s reasonable. He’s not that…healthy, okay.

“Does he fuck you?”

He was so taken aback he almost lost grip of the tray of glasses he was holding.

Minji laughed at him, clearly amused at his reaction.

“Alright, sorry about that. What do you know about him,” she asked instead.

He put down the glasses carefully at the counter. Guess he just have to put those back to the cabinets later on, when he’s not being…terrorized.

“What do you mean,” he asks, because honestly, he doesn’t know what to say to that.

What does he know about him? Nothing much. His name is Park Jinyoung. He’s the third successor of Black Rose. What else, uhh he has black hair, and deep brown eyes. Those eyes. They look so cold when they look at him. But he feels warmth somehow. It’s confusing. He’s also taller than him. And cold. Very cold. And an asshole. He doesn’t talk much, but he doesn’t talk bullshit. He likes that about him. But he doesn’t like him, okay? What more? Oh yeah, he made him turn into a bait one time. Without him knowing. Then just when he was about to let go, he appears again, in front of his eyes. He didn’t even apologize. For what he did. But he didn’t have to.

Because he had already forgiven him without even realizing.

He confuses the hell out of him.

* * *

Weekends are his day offs, which also meant training…

He glared at the gun in front of him.

Youngjae was just being over-dramatic about the whole thing. It wasn’t even that bad. He just likes thinking that it is, even when he told him that he’s fine. It ended up with Mark being in a cast for a whole month. He even got mad at Jinyoung as well, but Jinyoung blatantly told him it was his fault. So in the end, he poured all his madness to Mark.

He has to remind himself not to piss Youngjae again.

And so that’s how he ended up training with Black Rose every weekend, learning all the rules and protocols, fighting stances, weapon-handling, and everything Youngjae wanted him to learn. 

He was actually interested at first. After all, it was always exciting to learn new things. But not when you have to learn it all by yourself.

Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t blame Youngjae for any of it. But when the man learned his ’super special’ skill of being able to copy everything at once, he believed that leaving him a tablet full of training videos was enough.

That’s ridiculous.

He sighed and replayed the same clip for the eight time.

It was about firing a gun. The guy from the clip was explaining the proper grip and posture one should adopt to avoid injuries while using it. But the thing is, he couldn’t get it right, even if he perfectly copied what the guy did.

He got up and tried shooting again, only to end up falling pitifully on his back for the fourth time. It doesn’t help that his hands were also starting to hurt from all the shooting he did earlier.

He grimaced from the pain. He can already see a large purple bruise forming on his palm.

He got up and looked at the opposite hall where the other trainees are doing their drills. With gun placed back on safety, he walked over to them, finding an instructor who could teach him how to do the thing properly. If Youngjae was there, he’d ask him, but he said he has to do some work today, so he couldn’t be there.

He found one by the door. A tall, broad guy yelling at a group of trainees to do the drills properly.

“Huh? Didn’t we already gave you the training guide for it? Just watch it, kid. You learn damn fast, you can do that,” he says.

“But—“

“No excuses. Just repeat the video all over again,” he grunts, before yelling at another trainee for being too slow.

“Go now, we have a practice shoot later on, you need to learn that by then”

He sighed and went back to the other side. He didn’t need to do the drills, because he wasn’t a trainee to begin with. He just needed to learn some few things to save his ass in case something bad happens to him (again). He had reminded Youngjae then that he’s 21, not 4, so why keep him in the dark. But Jinyoung told him to shut up and just do what he’s told to do.

Once he was back, he pulled out his phone and called Youngjae. He’ll just have to ask him about it, before he ends up knocking himself.

“Hello,” he heard him say after a few rings.

“H-hi,” he stuttered.

He wasn’t adept at taking calls (or doing one), alright, and it makes him a little nervous for some reason. Ha! Yeah, take that.

“Just want to ask about the uhh, the shooting thing. Because I keep on falling every time I—“

“Jackson Jackson, didn’t I already gave you everything,” he chuckled.

“And here I thought I’d finally get my hands off you. Just watch it, alright? You can copy it perfectly. I’ve seen you do it”

...

“Hello?”

Jackson hurriedly sputtered a reply, cursing himself for spacing out.

He was just probably… _overthinking_ about it. Again.

_“What a fucking useless shit. Can’t even do it properly,” his father grunted._

_“Do I really have to show it to you once again,” he yelled, before he felt another slap landing on his face._

_“No, sir”_

Okay, fuck, calm down, he chuckled. Youngjae didn’t mean it that way, alright. I mean, it couldn’t be. Even he himself knows that it’s ridiculous to think that way. And that it was just his mind playing tricks on him again.

So why the fuck is he _crying_?

God damn it all.

He frustratedly wiped the tears from his eyes, and went back to grab the gun on the table. Maybe he was just doing it all wrong. So _stupid_. He just have to watch the thing again. Right. He has to do that.

With trembling hands, he watched the clip all over again, desperately trying to figure out what went _wrong_.

But all he saw was a frail boy, curled up in a corner, sobbing quietly as he ate a piece of loaf that was thrown at him on the street.

God, one thing he’s good at, and he still messes up.

He’s really fucking _useless_.

* * *

By the time evening came, he was already scared shitless. Not because he had failed to learn it, but because his arm hurts like hell.

And everyone was there, lining up one-by-one for the exhibit. They’re supposed to show the instructors what they learned so far.

Youngjae was his instructor, so it’s just normal for him to be there. But Youngjae being there, and him being unable to perform properly, would only turn out to be a total embarrassment. Not for him, but for the older man.

And that was what he couldn’t take. Because it was _his_ fault. It will all be his fault in the end. He knows that. And he might—he might get mad at him. And he _doesn’t_ want that. Because he likes Youngjae. Not romantically, but he likes him. So he doesn’t want to _lose_ him, like how he lost his father, or his mother, because he couldn’t do things properly.

“Hey, Jack, are you okay?”

He abruptly turned around, only to see Youngjae looking at him worriedly.

He immediately drew his hands behind his back, hiding the ugly bruise on his palm.

“You look pale”

“I’m just tired,” he says, ignoring the sharp pain from his arm when he tried clenching his fists.

He can still see signs of worry from his eyes, but he _smiled_ nonetheless.

Suddenly—he felt like it’s been so long since someone smiled at him like that. And somehow, he felt _warm_. 

So he smiled back.

“Alright, are you ready to show off?”

“Yeah”

* * *

He was almost gasping for air the moment he finished first stage. Because it fucking hurts so much. His whole arm is numb, and he felt like he might lose it anytime soon.

Gripping the gun hurts. But it was even worse when he actually started shooting it.

He might’ve looked so pale, because Youngjae was again looking at him with those worried eyes. But he smiled at him, which prevented the man from getting up to stop him. He was _about to_.

He breathed a deep sigh. He was done with the first stage; two more to go and he’s finally good to go. He might have to ask Mark if he can borrow his cast after that. He’s pretty sure he’d need it soon.

He draw the gun again, aiming at another batch of targets. His vision is blurry, and he’s a little dizzy, but he forced himself to focus. He gritted his teeth when he literally felt a bone cracking up from the joint above his thumb. Then just when he was about to shoot, he suddenly felt a hand grabbing his wrist, and the gun was snatched away from his trembling hands.

He whimpered in pain when the grip tightened on his wrist.

He looked up, and saw a pair of cold, brown eyes glaring down at him.

“Sometimes I wonder if you really have something inside that head of yours”

He snatched his hand away from Jinyoung’s grip.

“You’re an idiot”

**NOTE: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay! I was having a really really huge writer’s block on this one. Alright so some of you might already know this but I’ve written another story called _Behind Broken Doors._ I know I said that these two are almost similar, for they were literally born under the same storyline. But these few nights, i realized that yes they might be similar, but they’re also oh-so different at the same time. The characters and the dynamic between the two were built in different forms for each one of them. So for those who are asking if they shouldn’t read the other one because they were reading this one or vice versa, it doesn’t matter. You can read both at the same time.

Anyway, please bear with me with this one. I cannot promise REGULAR UPDATES, but trust me, this will not be discontinued.

I also want to ask if any of you has an objection for a side pairing for Jackson. I’m thinking of a MarkSon/JackBeom side pairing. It was still only a plan, but I’m going to ask now. PLEASE give me a feedback for this one. I always consider readers’ insights when it comes to my stories. Please leave a comment! Thanks and Merry Christmas everyone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay! I was having a really really huge writer’s block on this one. Alright so some of you might already know this but I’ve written another story called Behind Broken Doors. I know I said that these two are almost similar, for they were literally born under the same storyline. But these few nights, i realized that yes they might be similar, but they’re also oh-so different at the same time. The characters and the dynamic between the two were built in different forms for each one of them. So for those who are asking if they shouldn’t read the other one because they were reading this one or vice versa, it doesn’t matter. You can read both at the same time. 
> 
> Anyway, please bear with me with this one. I cannot promise REGULAR UPDATES, but trust me, this will not be discontinued.
> 
> I also want to ask if any of you has an objection for a side pairing for Jackson. I’m thinking of a MarkSon/JackBeom side pairing. It was still only a plan, but I’m going to ask now. PLEASE give me a feedback for this one. I always consider readers’ insights when it comes to my stories. Please leave a comment! Thanks and Merry Christmas everyone!


	11. CHAPTER XI

**CHAPTER XI**

Mondays are always the most boring day among the rest. He was glad Minji-nim didn’t ask him to work on weekends. With the amount of craziness that bar is getting constantly everyday, he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d end up one as well.

He sighed. It’s not even helping that it’s just him in the morning. He takes the day shift, while Jooheon takes the night. Minji-nim goes there sometimes, probably two or three days a week depending on her mood. But mostly, it’s just the two of them.

Why they even have to open the bar in the morning, he doesn’t know.

He’s also not sure how they’re still not broke at that point.

Jooheon said that it’s just a Black Rose thing, and he didn’t have to think too much about it. Apparently, the bar is exclusively for Roses alone. He snorts. He’s not stupid. He knows some deals happen there during the night. That’s why he was assigned to take the day shift in the first place.

He put another clean glass on the rack.

Being under Black Rose is actually somewhat…pleasant? He couldn’t think of the proper term to describe it, but it’s somewhere close to that. Not entirely, ‘cause he just couldn’t get himself to let go that much.

He just…couldn’t trust anything right away.

BamBam and Yugyeom were now under Youngjae’s care, and he couldn’t be more glad for that. ‘Course it has something to do with what they did to the card. Youngjae told him he’d like to keep them under his watch, and probably train them as well if possible. He immediately rejected the latter, knowing how dangerous it is to get involved with the whole thing in general. But the two brats insisted otherwise, telling him not to worry too much. In fact, they were even fucking thrilled the moment they knew Youngjae’s the one who created the card. He sighed. Told you they were like, younger versions of Youngjae. In the end, he still allowed them to go, just so they could finally move out of that hell hole.

He visited them the other day.

They look good. Happy.

They have also made new friends with some of the intel guys. Well, they’re always better than him when it comes to that, so it shouldn’t matter that much.

They still go to school everyday, but with new uniforms now. Not the ragged ones he bought them nearly two years ago. Yugyeom had complained about it for too long, sulking about how cramped it looks whenever he wears it. BamBam had always chastised him about it, telling him to stop nagging and just deal with it like a ‘man’.

He noticed it when he checked their drawers. He almost thought they’d already thrown the old ones away, until he noticed them neatly tucked at one corner.

...

Tho he couldn’t blame them if they decided to throw those away. They weren’t even brand new when he bought it. So…they really weren’t that valuable.

The second thing he noticed was an old photograph, taped at one of the clipboards hanging on their desk. It was an old photo of the three of them when they were young. It was also the only photo they have of their childhood. He stared at it for a moment, remembering the day it was taken.

It was Yugyeom’s birthday that day, so he wanted to treat him to something. He planned on treating them to a movie that night, the one Yugyeom insisted on watching. Not on a cinema of course, because they couldn’t afford that, and they’re too young to get in anyway.

The Incredibles had just got released that month, and Yugyeom couldn’t shut his mouth about it. So a week before his birthday, he desperately looked for a shop selling a pirated DVD of it.

It was a known thing among the slums. They never go to the cinema. If you want to watch something, you either buy a pirated CD, or go to the mall and watch anything they play there.

Luckily, after three days of looking, he finally found one.

He was about to pick it up from the rack when he noticed the price; and immediately retreated his hands. Even though he had saved a decent amount of change to get something for that day, he knew that it still wasn’t enough. And if he spends more than what he’s supposed to, they’d end up not eating for at least three days. 

He couldn’t risk that.

He could still remember being so down that day, just staring mournfully at the CD in front of him. After a while, the lady vendor noticed him and snorted.

“What now, kid, you still looking? You wanna buy it?”

He looked at her, then sulked.

“No, ma’am. Don’t have money”

“Then get lost”

It didn’t stop him from dropping by at the same street everyday, taking the long route from school, just to check if the CD’s still there. Everyday, the lady vendor would snort at him and shake her head.

One day, just before Yugyeom’s birthday, he was walking back from school, when he saw a kid and a lady looking at it. Probably his mother. He ran carefully towards the cart. Even from afar, he knows that the kid was interested in it, from the way his eyes were twinkling pointing at the object, as he looked up at his mom.

His face fell when he saw the mother picking it up, before handing it to her child.

He felt his hands clenching into fists.

He must’ve looked so fucking disappointed back then, because when he looked up, the lady vendor was already looking at him.

She shook her head one more time, like how she does everyday, and sighed. Then she gently took back the CD from the kid’s hands.

“I’m sorry, kid, but this has already been taken. You can choose another one if you like,” she smiled.

…

He felt so warm that day.

The next day after that, all three of them went happily to the store. The vendor allowed them to watch it there, for as long as they behave. They were so engrossed at watching that they hadn’t noticed when she took out a camera and took a photo of them. They had only noticed it when they saw it flash from the corner of their eyes.

The lady vendor, Susan, gave it to them after the movie had ended, greeting Yugyeom happy birthday. He believes it is still the most memorable birthday Yugyeom ever had.

He smiled at the memory. He wasn’t sure, but when he saw them again that day, laughing, and without the constant fear lurking in their eyes, he felt as if a shard of ice has been removed from his heart.

He turned around when he heard the chimes clinking from the door, only to purse his lips in an instant, groaning silently.

Apparently, Jaebeom had also chosen Mondays to pester him.

* * *

It’s the fifth week now. Every Monday, Jaebeom would come to the bar…and ask him the same question.

_Do you want to go out with me?_

It was stupid.

He’s pretty sure he wasn’t _that_ serious about it, he admitted it himself. Yet it still didn’t stop him from going back there every week just to piss the hell out of him.

By the first three weeks, he had politely told him no. But by the fourth week, it was already starting to get on his nerves. The guy’s totally crazy…

Okay, that’s rude, so no, he’s not crazy. He’s just fucking too persistent.

It was absurd, to go out with someone you barely even know. But Jaebeom doesn’t seem to care about that. He had asked him why, last time he was there. The man just shrugged, and told him that it doesn’t matter.

That’s bullshit.

“So, have you thought about it? _Do you want to go out with me?_ ”

Yeah, goddamnit.

Honestly, it’s not just because he barely knows him. In truth, Jaebeom is fine the way he is. He’s charming, can be cold and charming at the same time. He can be a little temperamental sometimes—he had seen him deal with his men probably not too long ago and watched how he can totally be ruthless when it comes to discipline—so scratch that, he can _totally_ be temperamental sometimes _._ But all in all, he’s fine. He knows his principles, and knows how to respect opinions and individualities.

It’s just that, he doesn’t know how to _love_.

Fuck _,_ that sounds a little too cheesy, so mind you, it’s not what you think.

The thing is, all his life, he rarely felt _love_ , or at the very least, _like_.

So faced with it, he becomes weary, not sure how to act.

He’s afraid that if he tries, he’d only end up ruining it. And the walls that he spent so much building all his life would only crumble in the end. 

It’s _scary._

Have you ever felt that?

“Hyung, I already told you I can’t,” he says, wiping another glass.

“You can’t, or you don’t want to?”

“If I tell you I really don’t want to, would you give up?”

It silenced him for a moment, but it didn’t stop him from staring.

“You’re not lying”

No shit, Sherlock.

Jaebeom just kept staring at him. If he had only looked longer, he would’ve seen him pouting.

“Then how about you just come with me later? I’ll show you something”

He sighed, but he thought about it. If ever, he could probably use it as a chance to… _politely_ ask him to stop with the pursuit. He could try.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. What time will you get off?”

* * *

Before he could even retract, and reprimand himself for being so dumb (again), Jaebeom had already caught him by his arm, pulling him back towards their supposed…vehicle.

He mentally cursed at himself. Why hadn’t he thought about this before he agreed? Of course, Jaebeom would own a fucking _bike._ And of course, he had to use it as well to take him to god-knows-where.

Is he gonna die today?

Yeah, he’ll probably die of _embarrassment_.

‘Coz he knows shit about riding that…thing.

“What the hell are you turning around for? You afraid of bikes, or something,” he heard him ask, chortling.

Well, sorry mister, but not everyone likes riding to _hell_.

“Where are we going, anyway? Why didn’t you just bring a normal vehicle,” he grumbled under his breath, looking at the bike mournfully.

Is he even allowed to use this thing? What if someone sees him? Maybe he has to remind him that he actually is KNPA’s chief of police. 

“I told you, you’ll see”

A helmet was suddenly shoved over his head.

“Safety first, I don’t want Youngjae getting mad at me again for ‘endangering’ your life”

Then he mounted the bike _gracefully_ , gesturing for him to do the same.

Uhmmmm, sure…

After a series of _really_ embarrassing and _awkward_ moments of ‘learning how to mount a bike without losing your dignity,’ they were finally getting at it. Of course, all that happened _without_ Jaebeom laughing his ass off at him, and him glaring at the man in return.

He was almost tempted to just turn around and go home.

He rolled his eyes when he heard another chuckle from the man.

“If you laugh again, I’ll tell Youngjae,” he warned.

“Okay, okay, calm down. It’s just fucking funny, alright,” Jaebeom says, when they stopped at a red light.

He noticed that they were getting farther away from the city, and towards Lake Hill up front.

It’s a hill surrounded by a lake. Whoever named it must’ve been really really drunk so…

Anyway.

“Are we mountain climbing,” he asked.

It was a real question, so he didn’t quite understand why the man laughed at it.

“Yeah, we’re going on a field trip. Did you bring snack?”

He wonders how Mark and Jinyoung gets along with him.

The ride to the peak took about fifteen or so minutes. With the cold winter air, and the silent buzz of the bike, he almost dozed off. He’s glad Jaebeom forced him to wear a safety strap, or he’d definitely fall off. _Scary._

So maybe he was a little grumpy after that, because why the hell had he agreed to this when he could’ve just gone home instead and sleep? Until he turned around and saw the most magnificent sight he had ever seen in his life.

He stared at it in awe.

He had never seen so many stars in his life.

“Beautiful?”

He glanced behind his back and saw Jaebeom looking at him. He nodded, before turning his head back around.

It’s really beautiful.

“You wouldn’t see this in the city, because of pollution and all”

He then heard a can being opened. He didn’t need to turn around to know that it was another beer he stole from the bar. Now he has to explain to Minji-nim why another can was again missing from their rack.

“Jinyoung and I used to come up here before”

He turned around, and watched Jaebeom drink the beer in one go while staring above the sky.

“How’d you meet Jinyoung,” he asked, before he could even stop himself.

He heard him laugh a little, shaking his head.

“I only mention Jinyoung once, and you get interested”

…

“Anyway, when I first met him, he almost killed me”

* * *

When Jaebeom first met him, Jinyoung was already high in command, has his own team and everything. By then, he was only just starting as a Spade, rejecting for so long to participate in his own family’s affairs.

It was a joint retrieval mission, between Spades and Black Rose. It was also his first S-rank mission back then. The task was simple, they just had to retrieve some of Black Rose’s men who had been compromised on their way back. Apparently, the target had long known about the infiltration, and that they were only waiting for a chance to move against them.

To cut it short, he was a total bastard back then, naive and ignorant about the whole thing. He thought of it as too bothersome, not really liking the idea of saving anyone who had failed their job. Especially when they’re not even a Spade. He didn’t even understand back then why they got involved with it in the first place. His pops was probably just pulling threads in their favor. Besides, Black Rose was really an important ally back then, so when Spades caught up about the incident, they immediately offered assistance.

He and Jinyoung didn’t talk much at that time, maintaining a professional relationship, and really, just doing their jobs. When they were finally able to retrieve the only three remaining from a formerly five-man team, he was oh-so-ready to finish up. However, they were only halfway back outside when he suddenly heard Jinyoung shouting at them to cover up. It was immediately followed by a series of gunshots from all over the place. He cursed, watching two of his comrades immediately fall down. He picked up one of the assassins who had been gravely injured and ran towards the back of a torn down container. He hissed, realizing that they had just been caught up in a trap. He couldn’t help but to think back at their plan, and their conversation before that. One of his seniors suggested that they come in from the back, because they might encounter a mob if they do it from above, but Jinyoung insisted otherwise, telling them that they wouldn’t be able to reach the group in time if they do that. With hesitation, they agreed to the plan, trusting Jinyoung and his command.

Well, just look at what they got in return.

His eyes darkened at the figure in front of him. Jinyoung held the other two Roses by his side, as he exchanged blows with the other gunmen. The gunshots had lessened, telling them that the others are either already dead, injured, or retreated. Anyway, they couldn’t be so sure.

A few minutes later, he again heard Jinyoung’s voice from his line, ordering them to report back. He waited for his team’s voices from the other line, only to drop cold when he only heard one in return.

They were a seven-man team.

His fury got even worse when he realized that Black Rose had only lost one. He remembered himself laughing bitterly back then. They didn’t even try to retrieve the bodies of his men. Just the three assassins and the rest who had survived.

Just how fucking unfair is that.

So when another attack came up when they were trekking down the terrain, he didn’t hesitate to drop down the assassin he was carrying on his back. He was badly injured anyway, and in that state, he wouldn’t be able to make it alive.

It took them a total of thirty minutes to clean up everything, killing the remaining assassins who had followed them on their way back.

Just when he thought it was finally over, he found himself getting shoved hard on the ground, furious eyes glaring down at him from above.

It was Jinyoung.

“What the fuck did you just do,” he growled, one arm pinning down his neck, making it hard for him to breathe.

Growling, he tried shoving him away, only to get another punch in return.

“He’s fucking dragging us down, alright. What’s the point of keeping him when he’s only gonna get us killed in the end,” he spat.

He didn’t stop there. Chuckling, he continued.

“And besides, Spades lost five, Black Rose only lost one. One less is fine”

He howled in pain when a knife was suddenly lodged down on his right shoulder. Gritting his teeth, he glared at the man in front of him, only to shudder at the coldness of his eyes.

“What do you think of this, a play?”

Then he got up and sneered at him.

“You don’t fucking know shit. Do you know why we got mobbed back there,” he asked.

He only noticed then that his hands were shaking.

“It was because one of your men had insisted on coming in from the back”

His eyes widened from shock.

“I know you’re new to this, but that’s not an excuse,” he spat.

He felt Jinyoung grab the front of his gear, making him face his furious eyes.

“Do you know how many lives we lose every time a mission comes up? Do you want to know how many of us sacrifice ourselves for your sake? Knives and Spades are different from Black Rose”

From above him, he can see the blur of emotions flashing through his eyes.

“Do you want to know how many teams I’ve lost? And guess what, by the end of the day, you go back there and what, tell their families that yes, they have died under my command and we didn’t even have enough time to retrieve them”

He shoved him back to the ground.

“You’re a fucking piece of trash”

* * *

He sighed at the memory. God, he’s so fucking naive back then.

But it was all good, he deserved it.

He looked at Jackson, who was still staring at the sky above them.

“How—“

“How old is Jinyoung back then,” he asked.

He hummed, thinking back.

“He was nineteen. I was twenty-one”

…

“And how long was he doing the…thing?”

He laughed at the look on his face. But he closed his eyes, thinking back at what his father told him back then, when they got back.

_“Don’t anger him too much. That kid has some issues. Maybe all these killings had finally caught up to his mind”_

“Probably too long”

They stayed there for a while, just watching the sky, and the city below them as the night progresses. Gradually, the buzzing city had calmed down, leaving a somewhat serene sight of warm lights flowing steadily from within their eyes.

“Why did you take me here?”

…

He honestly don’t know either.

Sighing, he closed his eyes.

But maybe…maybe he just thought he found traces of Jinyoung in him.

Subtly, he glanced at the mark on his wrist.

And maybe he’s just a little curious at that mark as well.

“Come on, I’ll take you back”


	12. CHAPTER XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve finally started working on this again yesterday. After battling with my mind for so loooong, as to what future this story will take, I’ve finally dug a path I wanted to adopt. Hopefully I won’t get stuck by the middle of it.
> 
> Hmm okay so what I want to say is we’re already midway to the end. Seven or so more chapters and I could finally close book one. Yes, you heard it right. At least for now, the plan is to close this as book one. About the sequel, let’s talk about that in the future hahaha.
> 
> Anyway, let’s see how it goes. At least now I already have a somewhat clear storyline (unlike before). Please bear with me a little longer.
> 
> By the way, for new readers, I just want to warn you that this story is heavy with angst, hurt, and feelings. There’s barely fluff here lmao. Hmm if you want fluff you can read ‘Of Tattered Wings And Broken Promises’ but it’s JackBeom so I hope that’s okay with you. Just a suggestion!
> 
> What more, ahgases it’s already nearing January 16. Are you sad? Are you happy? Anyway, whatever happens, I hope we’ll support them ‘till the end. 💚

**CHAPTER XII**

People say they are afraid of _dying_.

He believes he was more afraid of _living_.

People believe it is unfair to desire _death_.

They don’t know how painful it is to live in constant _suffering_.

To _live_ someone’s _pain,_ to _remember_ their _deaths,_ see the _light_ flicker from their _eyes_.

 _Losing_ , _losing_ light.

And you continue _living_.

Meet new people, create bonds.

Only to _lose_ them again.

The cycle continues.

The _strongest_ of all _lives_.

But the pain _remains_.

Gnawing, _gnawing_ you.

Until what’s only left is _hollowness_.

He _understands_.

He finds himself thinking back, to that scene in the bar.

Head bowed down, Jinyoung looked…lonely.

And he couldn’t understand it, how someone like him, could look like _himself_.

Stupid. He should’ve asked Jaebeom about that as well.

Who was that man? What did he say? Because it’s not okay to make someone _sad_.

He chuckled. Guess he also forgot to tell Jaebeom not to see him again. Why was he even distracted anyway?

Maybe he could think of a better excuse. Like threatening him to tell Youngjae about the whole thing? He’s kinda afraid of Youngjae. Mark’s also afraid of Youngjae. But you see, Jinyoung’s different…

“Jackson?”

Oh.

Speaking of which.

“Did you just arrive? I thought you’d be out by five?”

Uh-oh.

“I…walked?”

Youngjae just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Where’d you go?”

He pouts. He really couldn’t lie. But he couldn’t just blurt out he just went mountain climbing with Jaebeom either. So…

“Just strolled around…”

He heard Youngjae hum. Luckily, he let it go as it is.

“Oh yeah, by the way, you like dogs right?”

“U-uhh—“

“Yeah you do. So come see Coco, she’s really a cutie. Well, she’s a princess so that’s already a given, but still you should see her. She can do tricks now,” he blabbered, pulling him towards the couch.

…

So Youngjae’s kinda…obsessed with Coco. Coco is his ‘princess’ by the way. She’s a maltese Youngjae bought together with Mark a few years back. Since then, he proclaimed himself as Coco’s father, while Mark was forced to take on the mother’s role. Yeah yeah that’s just Youngjae to you.

Youngjae’s in the middle of another ‘praise Coco’ show when they heard a groan from somewhere inside. Somewhere around the kitchen or something.

“Are you fucking not done yet? Why don’t you do that shit somewhere else?”

He turned his head around to see Jinyoung leaning on the wall. He looks really really…pissed? Scratch that, he looks really…tired.

He wanted to ask him so many questions…

“Are you drinking again? What did I tell you about drinking,” Youngjae got up and walked over to him, snatching the bottle of whiskey out of his hand.

Jinyoung tried to walk away, but Youngjae threatened him. Somewhere along the lines of making Coco pee on his bed or sumthin’. Then just when he was about to turn his head back, he saw a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, as he ruffles Youngjae’s hair—affectionately.

His head whipped away in an instant, a small blush creeping up on his cheeks.

Well, that’s the first time he saw him smile like that, so don’t fucking blame him alright. Damn you.

He hurriedly got up, and walked towards his room. But even before he could reach it, he heard Jinyoung’s voice calling him up.

“Brat”

He turned around.

“Where did you go?”

…

“Sightseeing”

They _did_ sightseeing anyway. It’s not a lie.

Jinyoung snorted, amusement clear in his eyes.

“Yeah sure. Go to sleep, it’s already late”

He frowned. These people always treat him like a child.

“I know when to sleep,” he mumbled before turning back around to his room.

* * *

_Everything was painful. And it shouldn’t be painful. He promised him._

_He cried, pushing away the man in front of him with his frail hands._

_“Shh, quiet Kiddo, it will get better, I promise,” the faceless man whispered._

_It didn’t._

_When he pleaded for him to stop, the man only laughed._

_He lied there helplessly, hands tied as the man continued to molest him._

_“Please, sir, it really hurts,” he pleaded again._

_“Shut the fuck up, kid. If you don’t shut up, I’ll really kill your father this time”_

_Why does it hurt so much?_

He woke up gasping, his whole body shaking from fear.

_Fuck._

He got up, and wobbly walked out of the room. He couldn’t stay in that dark, cramped room. Or any room in general.

He reached out to the fridge and took out a water pitcher, then he walked over to the cupboards to take a glass. He blinked when he only saw empty plates inside.

“It’s in the one above that”

He jumped in surprise. But he didn’t turn around, recognizing that it’s just Jinyoung. Why he’s still up, he doesn’t know. He just needed water for now.

He tried reaching up at the upper cupboards, but his height…

He frowned.

Before he could even start glaring at the glasses, and somewhat make them magically levitate towards him—I mean, who the fuck decided to put them there in the first place—he felt someone closing in from behind his back, effectively taking one and placing it on the counter.

“Told you you should sleep early”

He pursed his lips, but he ignored him. Just muttered a simple thanks before pouring a glass of water for himself.

He wanted to walk away, back to his room, because honestly, being in that cramped space is much much better compared to…this. But Jinyoung is a _little_ too close to him, and leaving means bumping to him, and that is so so _awkward,_ so no…

Goddamnit.

Then just when he thought it couldn’t get much worse, the idiot moved closer, effectively trapping him against the counter. His grip tightened on the glass.

Is he scared?

No…

That’s a first.

But he’s anxious.

Of what? He wasn’t sure.

Maybe hearing Jaebeom talk about his past had made him realize things. And maybe he was finally starting to understand him to some extent.

Gradually, the hand on the counter moved towards his wrist; and by that time, he wanted to make himself believe that he was just checking for the injury, but no, because the damn injury had to be on his right hand. What he was holding then was his left, where his mark has been placed…

“Finally healed,” he asked, before he felt the soft brush of his thumb on it.

…

“Yeah”

He let him stare at it for a while. He wanted to ask why he’s still up, because he shouldn’t be up this late. Isn’t he tired? He looks tired than usual. Like he had just gone through hell. But he couldn’t trust his voice at the moment. At worse, he’d probably blurt out worse shit like ‘why are you so confusing,’ or ‘why am I reacting differently when it comes to you’ or something akin to that.

Then…

“Do you want to remove it?”

…

If he was asked the same question over a month ago, he’d probably immediately say yes. Turn around and say _yeah, why are you asking me this now? When all those times I told you I don’t want it._

_Fuck._

_How can you be this confusing?_

He felt like choking.

_And why do you look so sad again?_

It _scares_ him.

Because it really felt like he’s _trusting_ again.

The space behind his back felt cold.

Slowly, he turned around, and whispers.

“No”

But only left there was an empty space, and a few discarded shot glasses littering around.

He chuckled.

That was stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve finally started working on this again yesterday. After battling with my mind for so loooong, as to what future this story will take, I’ve finally dug a path I wanted to adopt. Hopefully I won’t get stuck by the middle of it.
> 
> Hmm okay so what I want to say is we’re already midway to the end. Seven or so more chapters and I could finally close book one. Yes, you heard it right. At least for now, the plan is to close this as book one. About the sequel, let’s talk about that in the future hahaha.
> 
> Anyway, let’s see how it goes. At least now I already have a somewhat clear storyline (unlike before). Please bear with me a little longer.
> 
> By the way, for new readers, I just want to warn you that this story is heavy with angst, hurt, and feelings. There’s barely fluff here lmao. Hmm if you want fluff you can read ‘Of Tattered Wings And Broken Promises’ but it’s JackBeom so I hope that’s okay with you. Just a suggestion!
> 
> What more, ahgases it’s already nearing January 16. Are you sad? Are you happy? Anyway, whatever happens, I hope we’ll support them ‘till the end. 💚


	13. Chapter XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we get closer and closer to the peak, i also get more and more anxious about writing it lmao. As much as I want to end this as soon as I can, I also don't want to mess everything up and end up regretting what I have written. I don't want to talk about plans anymore, or about creating sequel and whatnot. I may or may not end this story as it is. It all depends on what decision I'll take in the end.
> 
> Your comments motivate writers so much! I'll appreciate anything! 💚

**CHAPTER XIII**

“Yo yo yo, are we all ready to go?”

Jackson paused from tying up his Chuck Taylors, glancing behind him to look at Mark, who was grinning happily at them.

“What the hell are you doing here,” Youngjae asked, mood immediately turning sour just from the sight of the older man.

“What do you mean, of course Minji would invite me as well,” he chuckled.

“How can she not. Her good ol’ nephew should be there as well”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, grumbling something under his breath. He ignored Mark and proceeded on talking to some Roses lounging outside.

Jackson turned his head back, and noticed Mark staring at him.

…

“Hi,” he says, blinking.

Mark smiled at him in return.

“How are you? No one’s messing with you here?” he asked.

Jackson shrugged, before leaning down again to tie up his shoes.

“No one really talks to me here”

He only heard a short hum in return before they drifted back into silence.

It was comfortable. Not tense, like how he feels when he was with others. Funny because Mark could just effortlessly kill him there and then. One bad move and boom, you get your blood splurting everywhere. He chuckled, that was a little too intense. But really, who knows? Anyway, that didn’t discount the fact that he is still a family head, an S-rank officer deserving utmost respect and acknowledgment. Yet here he is, lazily tying up his shoes, like they were just normal friends or something. If it’s anyone else, he’s sure they would’ve done something else. Like…probably greet him or whatnot, and then subtly walk away after some time. They do that to Jinyoung, and to Youngjae sometimes, when he was in a bad mood.

He wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up trusting Mark. At the same time, he’s also not sure why he lets him treat him this way, but hey, he’s not complaining.

Maybe it was from that time when he snuck out. He knew Mark was there, watching, yet he didn’t stop him from stealing the buns and secretly giving them away to everyone.

Or that time before he left.

_You know what’s the purest of all things? Seeing the worth in everything that’s broken._

He blinked when he heard Youngjae calling them from outside.

Time to go.

They all went out together.

Him, Youngjae, and Jinyoung on one car, and Mark following them from behind. Mark had wanted to ride with them, complaining about not wanting to drive. But Youngjae immediately told him no, so he got all sulky and decided to pull him along. Which of course, ended up with Youngjae getting angrier. And yeah, so it was like watching five year olds getting at it…

Jesus, it was _loud_ ….

It was apparently a normal occurrence, because when he looked around, Roses were blatantly ignoring them, some even shaking their heads at the absurdity of the scene.

They only shut their mouths when Jinyoung yelled at them. And so that’s how they ended up like this…

He looked at the window, watching the scenery outside. He doesn’t know where they’re going. It was Friday that day, and he was supposed to be working. But apparently, it was Minji-nim’s granddaughter’s birthday, so rather than working at the bar, they were told to help at the party instead. Jooheon will be there as well—as the clown.

Jooheon was appalled when he was told about it, immediately getting mad at Minji-nim for giving him _ridiculous_ jobs.

_“What do you want me to do, give it to Jackson? His smile would scare all those shitty little brats”_

…Okay.

But it didn’t take long until he realized where they’re headed up to. When it finally clicked into his poor mind, he couldn’t help but to gawk, especially when he saw the arc of Everland coming up to his view.

Of course it would be the city’s biggest _theme park_.

It’s a children’s party anyway.

He forced himself to calm down, cheeks warming up from embarrassment. When he finally turned his face back front, he saw Youngjae grinning at him by the front view mirror.

“You like theme parks?” he heard him ask.

“No,” he lied, lowering his head to stare at his shoes.

His shoes looked so damn interesting all of a sudden.

He only heard a small snort beside him after that.

* * *

Truth is, he never really had the chance to be at a theme park before, or anything of its like, except for the lousy tiny community park they have back home, which never really had children anyway because it was filled with druggies all year round. Imagine the trauma they got when they first went there, only to be frightened to death when someone tried to pick them up.

They never went there again.

So naturally, he gets distracted from time to time, or rather, he gets distracted _a lot_ of times, which ended up with lots of yelling from Minji-nim and lots of _‘shut the hell up old hag’_ from Mark.

Mark is one tough guy, he gives him that. With the amount of beating he got that day from the woman…he sure is one tough guy.

Hell she’s even worse than Youngjae.

He hurriedly went back to the main hall and started arranging the tables. He saw Youngjae on his way back, talking to the kids. He wonders if he likes kids more than Coco. If he gets to be a father someday and have his own kids, what will Coco say?

Well…

He had not seen Jinyoung. It’s like, he suddenly disappeared the moment they arrived. Not like he wants to see him. Just curious. He’s kinda not like the type to enjoy these kind of events anyway. So…he wasn’t sure why he has to be there as well.

Trust me, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want him to be there. It’s just that, seeing the man reminds him of a certain night—which he really just _wants_ to forget—and Jinyoung being there isn’t helping. Every time he sees his face, or hears his voice, his arm would involuntary tingle, and he gets reminded of the same memory all over again.

He let out another sigh after he finished arranging the last table.

“Man, I really hate my life”

He turned around, and _lord_ have mercy…

His lip almost bled from how hard he was biting it.

Jooheon looked at him coldly.

“Laugh and I’ll hang you on that huge pumpkin out there,” he deadpanned.

Jackson closed his eyes, calming his breathing. Only to burst out laughing when he looked at his face for the second time. Jooheon looked like a bloody murderer, out to get those kids. Holy fuck, he was so glad he wasn’t the one picked up to do the thing.

Jooheon immediately grabbed him by the neck, playfully pinning his head under his arm. He just continued laughing at him, splurting out apologies in between.

He only stopped when he saw Jinyoung’s figure from afar, holding Sophia in his arms, Minji-nim’s granddaughter.

Oh.

So he _does_ like kids.

Jooheon felt him pause, and turned his head at the same direction.

“Ayaaa, here comes the kids, wish me luck bro,” he ruffled his hair and walked back to the stage.

He nodded at him before turning his head back up front. He stared dumbly at the scene, fingers fidgeting around the hem of his shirt.

He’s looking at Sophia…like how he looked at Youngjae that night. And as much as it fonds him, he still couldn’t help the slight twinge of his heart.

He frowned, then turned back around to help with…anything. Just anything to distract him from his own mind. He gets lots of these thoughts from time to time, and as much as likes being by himself, he also doesn’t want to get drowned by his own…insecurities.

He wonders.

_How does it feel being looked at like that?_

* * *

The party started with, of course, a birthday song. A really really long birthday song, with lots of clapping (and shouting). Then followed by giving gifts, which took like an hour, because the kid _had_ to open all of them right there and then. He doesn’t mind. He really likes kids, and seeing them smile warms his heart. But when you also have to be there and forced to ‘smile,’ that’s a whole new different thing. God, his jaw hurts from too much ‘smiling’.

Then it was followed by eating, and he couldn’t understand then why there were so much sweets. Like a fucking _lot_. Man, whoever arranged that party must have lost their minds.

Sweets and kids is a huge no no. A giant, big, humungous _no_. It turns the little angels into little demons, and that is _not_ okay.

He ran towards Sophia for the millionth time, stumbling on a a piece of wrapper scattered on the floor.

“Sophia, come on, the puppet show will about to start soon,” he says, pulling the giggling kid back to her seat. She was clutching a big panda plushie on her hands, something she got earlier as a present. The kid smiled at him, and offered a candy.

“Mister, do ya wanna candy,” she asks, pulling out one from her tiny bag.

He couldn’t help but to smile back at her. She was such a sweet kid, and if he had known earlier about the event, he would’ve bought her something. But then again, he doesn’t have that much, so…nevermind. He doubts she’d even remember him after that day anyway.

“You gave me one earlier, remember? Keep that in your bag, or give it to another friend later”

Sophia frowned a little, but brightened up instantly afterwards.

“Oh! I know who to give it to,” she exclaimed, grinning happily.

“I give it to Jinyoungiee”

He chuckled and ruffled her hair affectionately.

“Yeah, yeah give it to him later”

The shows went by in a breeze. Both adults and kids were laughing to death, especially when it was Jooheon’s turn. He looked so miserable on that ugly outfit. He looked even more outrageous when he started playing the tricks. In the end, Minji-nim had to stop him, before he terrorizes the kids even further.

After that, everyone was free to go on their own. The whole theme park was reserved that day, so they wouldn’t have to worry on waiting for lines and whatnot. He ended up going with Sophia, because Minji-nim was still pissed off the bat with Jooheon, and she apparently doesn’t like the rides either—she hates them—and muttered something along the lines of ‘you look like you’re dying to go anyway so fuck off’ and yeah, so that’s how…

They started off with the coasters.

He almost died out of fright.

Goddamnit, he would never do that again in the future. How was she able to handle that, he doesn’t know. Maybe it’s a kid thing he doesn’t know about.

When he had finally recovered from it, they went to the horror house. Yeah, very _frightening_. The damn ghosts likes appearing out of nowhere and yada yada. Sophia didn’t like it, but she was not afraid either. Same same. They eventually got bored and decided to go out. The ghosts had probably got tired of ‘scaring’ them as well, because they stopped bothering them after a while.

They went to another attraction after that, then another, and another, until they ended up on grand carousel. The sun was already setting down by then, and so he told her it was their last ride so they can go back for the last show.

The ride was about to start when he noticed her looking around, as if looking for somebody.

“Who are you looking for,” he asked.

She glanced at him and bowed her head. He can see a little pout on her lips.

“Jinyoungiee always takes me here,” she says.

…

He honestly doesn’t know what to say.

“I-I’m here with you, right? Next time…Jinyoung will take you here again, I’ll tell him”

It only made her tear up more. And goddamnit, he doesn’t know what to do.

“No, it’s alright,” she sniffed.

“I just don’t want him to get sad again”

…

What the hell.

How can these words come out from a mere child?

“You see, we’re the same and not the same at the same time,” she added just before the ride started.

He just looked at her, still surprised. But after a while, he realized, he was also like this back then—thinking about things kids shouldn’t be thinking in the first place.

“How are you the same,” he finally asked.

Sophia turned around, and he immediately got up just so she wouldn’t fall.

Then…

“Jinyoungiee and I don’t have a mama and papa”

He felt his heart skip a beat.

Well, that was new.

Suddenly, he found himself thinking back.

Long brown hair, same eyes as him. She held the warmest smile in his memories.

He snapped back to his senses when he heard giggles from behind him. Some other kids had occupied the back, seemingly unaware of everything else.

How good it is to be a _kid?_ That which doesn’t have to worry about anything else.

Not everyone gets to have that.

Turning back, he asked the second question that’s hanging on his tongue.

“How are you not the same?”

Sophia glanced at him for a moment, before bowing her head once more.

“When I’m sad, he makes me happy. But when he’s sad, I couldn’t make him happy”

…

He saw that she was about to cry, so he lifted her up to his arms and smiled. At least _tried_ to.

“I-It’s okay, it’s just normal. You see adults are different from you kids. It takes…longer for us to recover. It happens to me as well”

He wiped the tears that fell down from her eyes, and tried hard to divert her attention to something else.

Luckily, he was able to coax her to try a different horse, and she eventually got over it.

They went back to the hall after that, just in time for the last show to start. He watched the kids play around for a while, smiling when Sophia waves her hands at his direction.

“Man, if you could only smile at adults like that then I wouldn’t have had to take the bar every time,” he heard Jooheon groan from his side.

He snorted before turning around to face him.

He was glad he had already removed his make up, or he would have never taken him seriously then.

“You did great,” he says, just to piss him off.

Jooheon rolled his eyes at him, then looked at Sophia.

“That kid is strong,” he says.

“Never knew her parents. That ahjumma’s daughter took her in without a second thought, when they saw her hanging at the entrance of the bar”

He looked back at the same direction, staring at the kid.

_Jinyoungiee and I don’t have a mama and papa._

“Did..Did they try to look for her parents?”

He saw Jooheon shrug at the corner of his eye.

“Who knows. Heard they died from an accident or something. She was the only survivor. Couldn’t remember anything since then”

…

If it’s really that bad, is it really worth remembering?

He found himself thinking, about those memories he had lost. Would he want to remember them? Are they worth remembering? What’s the value of hanging on to those memories? Thinking that it would somehow lessen the hollowness of his heart?

He doubts that.

For the last part of the event, the host had given each kid a balloon. And they were all told to get a person who had made them happy that day. Everyone began running around, pulling other kids, pulling their parents, brothers, sisters. In the midst of that chaos, he felt someone tugging at his arm.

Looking down, he found Sophia looking up at him.

“H-Hi Sophi, do you want me to find Jinyoung? Or Minji-nim,” he asked, dropping down to his knees.

He was about to add ‘how about Mark’ when she spoke.

“No, you come with me Jackson,” she smiled, then he was pulled towards an open ground.

They were all supposed to release all the balloons together, but some kids have already did it. So…well, they are kids, what can you expect?

He stared in awe at the balloons in the sky. Maybe he was really _pitifully_ distracted, because Sophia had to tug his arm again after some time.

“Hyung, they say that if we release the balloon together, we will stay happy together,” she grinned.

He ruffled her hair.

“Why did you pick me then? Didn’t you want Jinyoung to be happy?”

Her face got conflicted for a while, but she eventually shook her head.

“Jinyoungie’s not sad today so I didn’t pick him”

“But you are sad so I picked you”

…

 _God,_ this kid.

He only smiled down at her, before they finally released the balloon.

It was really beautiful.

He doesn’t know how long he was there, just staring at the sky. When he realized it, he was the only one left. He quickly went back inside, face flushing from embarrassment. So what if he likes those flying balloons? In fact, he even wanted to see them get released together, but the damn brats had released them too soon.

The sun was already setting down when they finished cleaning up. The only thing needed was to put the equipments back to the truck and they’re all good to go.

Jackson was walking back to the hall to get another set of equipment when he heard surprised gasps behind his back. He turned around and saw a couple of helpers looking up at the sky. Frowning, he also turned his head to look at the same direction.

He couldn’t help but to gawk at the sight.

Multiple balloons have soared up to the sky. Some had even just got released, so he was able to watch them slowly fly up above.

He watched everything in awe, and stayed until the last balloon have disappeared in sight.

By then, the sky was already beginning to get dark, the warm hue of the sun glowing up the streets.

At one corner, meters away from the crowd, two figures can be seen hanging around. One staring up front, seemingly bored at everything he sees. Beside him stood another man, who was also watching the same scene.

“And here I thought we were about to recreate that damn scene from Up,” Mark chuckled, throwing a knowing look at the man next to him.

“Shut up,” Jinyoung muttered, before walking away back to his car.

Those balloons are damn expensive alright. He needs to charge Jinyoung for that.

With interest, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we get closer and closer to the peak, i also get more and more anxious about writing it lmao. As much as I want to end this as soon as I can, I also don't want to mess everything up and end up regretting what I have written. I don't want to talk about plans anymore, or about creating sequel and whatnot. I may or may not end this story as it is. It all depends on what decision I'll take in the end.
> 
> Your comments motivate writers so much! I'll appreciate anything! 💚

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first fic! Let me know what you think! Thank you so muuuuch! 🙏


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